12 Ultimate Steps On How To Let Go Of Grudges

There might be affiliate links on this page, which means we get a small commission of anything you buy. As an Amazon Associate we earn from qualifying purchases. Please do your own research before making any online purchase.

Did someone cause you pain? Looking for a way to forgive them? Finding how you can forget that bad event instead of keeping them inside your thoughts? Read this article if you have any grudges and feeling bad for someone for a long time. In this article, we have discussed how to let of grudges and have inner peace.

12 Effective And Helpful Steps To Let Go Of Grudges

Here are the 12 most powerful steps which you can follow to let go of any grudge in your life. Read them step by step if you want to let that grudge go away and to have a pure heart.

1. Acknowledge The Issue To Let Go Of The Grudges

The first step in how to let go of grudges is to rewind the clock and go back to the point where it all has started. Imagine all the situation that happened and try to perceive the situation with a different energy.

Acknowledge the issue; when you see what was the issue that caused you pain, then you can be able to solve it.

Suppose that grudge belongs to the past, find out the way that can hurt you the least and easy to understand if you have reacted at that time.

Once you complete this practice, keep repeating it into your thoughts, until your mind starts believing. As it is the phrase “The More You Repeat It The More You Believe It”.

2. Share Your Sentiments With Someone

If you are getting irritated or uncomfortable, clear your feelings about it at the spot. Please make up your mind on how to tell the other person that he had hurt you or still hurting by contacting them. When you get over with the pre-work of acknowledging the issue, get in touch with the person and discuss those things.

Suppose that if a grudge belongs to a person who is no more with you, then you have different following ways to share.

You can share it with any of your close ones, which you think is worth sharing. That person will understand and help you in being more positive about that thing. The second way is you can write your feelings in a journal or your personal diary.

You can choose any of these methods. The main purpose is you have to spit that bitterness out of your beautiful mind, and sharing will help you.

3. Analyze The Feedback To Let Go Of The Grudges

If you have shared your feelings with any of your closed ones, as discussed above, pay attention to their feedback. Listen to them what they are telling you and pick the healthy words that can help you in this forgiving process.

Sometimes a third person that can be your best friend, parents or anyone you trust can see things from a perspective which you can’t.

A vision of a third person is essential to decode the situation you have been going through. Analyze the feedback and see if it can of something fruitful or not.

4. Start Meditation To Let Go Of The Grudges

If in the route of how to let go of grudges the step “sharing your sentiments” doesn’t work for you because of any reason. Maybe you are bad at sharing, you don’t want to or don’t know how to put your feelings on the piece of paper then you can start healing through meditation.

Meditation can be helpful in how to let go of grudges
Meditation can be helpful in how to let go of grudges.

You can have mental peace by sitting in silence, listening to your own breath, and let go of the bad energy. The main purpose is to get rid of negative thoughts.

5. Understand Their Situation 

To heal yourself, you have to get an understanding of the other person’s feelings. Try to put yourself in their shoes which will give you a better view of their situation, maybe the person who has hurt you was in self is in a lot of pain that caused him to behave as he did.

Doing this will not turn your pain into blooming flowers, but it will give you another perspective to understand the whole issue. The more you understand the situation, the more will be the chances to let go of the grudge.

It’s the holder of the grudge that will always suffer more. You may start hating that person or creates a negative image for him, but that will cause you pain.

Understand them on how to let go of grudges
Understand them on how to let go of grudges

The longer you hold the grudge, the more difficult it is to forgive and move forward. It’s not about the weight of the grudge that hurts; it’s about time you hold that grudge.

Once I have read somewhere “Suppose if you are holding a glass of water half-filled with water. Holding it for a minute won’t make a difference, holding it for an hour won’t be painful, but holding it for a day can make you feel lose the sense of your arm”.

We can summarize it in one line as “The Longer You Hold, The Heavier It Becomes.”

6. Don’t Wait For An Apology To Heal

Once you understand their situation, don’t wait for them to say sorry. Don’t depend on their apology message or letter to start healing yourself. Not saying sorry doesn’t make them right.

The important thing for you should know that you are not wrong. Acknowledgement from their side is not and should not be essential for you.

Some people don’t know how to apologize. They are unaware of the fact that the person they have caused pain needs to hear one or not.

Saying sorry can’t be condoning, realizing it should be enough for you to move on in your life and be positive.

7. Don’t Discuss Your Issue In Gathering

The next important practice is you should not discuss it anywhere to collect sympathy. Try not to talk about it.

If someone starts discussing the issue. Change the conversation by saying “I am not liking it” or “I don’t feel comfortable talking about it”.

Dont discuss it if you are not comfortable
Don’t discuss it if you are not comfortable.

The more you discuss, the more you will think about it, and the more it will be challenging for you to let it go. You don’t have to put and waste your energy on the thing you have decided to leave as there is a saying “Let bygone be bygone”.

8. Be Positive To Let Go Of The Grudges

Observe nature and be positive like good and evil, the right way and a wrong way, day and night, life and death there is always a positive side along with a negative one. Try to absorb this positive thought whenever you are feeling negative vibes.

As there is a saying “There are always two sides of a coin”. You can either learn a lesson from a bad happening or you can stick there thinking “Why Me?”.

The time will pass anyway, so always choose to learn a valuable and life-time lesson from it and leave it behind. There will be no use over disliking that person so you can have peace inside.

Don’t hold onto ill thoughts, holding such thoughts will make you ill mentally.

9. Let The Negative Energy Go

There are portions in your mind that you can fill with fruitful thoughts or grudges. Fruitful seeds will produce peace and happiness that will profit you and on the other side, clinging to a grudge will drain your mental peace.

You can understand this step by below a simple example. Collecting garbage will only produce the smell and entertain bees. People will avoid passing from those places. Likewise saving negative thoughts will repel positive and beautiful thoughts.

One more thing, holding a grudge takes a lot of energy from you why wasting that powerful energy instead when you can invest that somewhere worthy.

Let it go
Let it go

Don’t forget that you have enough powerful energy; you have to turn the steering and change the flow of it. Here are some of the negative effects of holding a grudge

  1. You can easily get angry
  2. You will bring bitterness in your every new experience of life
  3. You will be so surrounded by negative thoughts. You won’t be able to see the positive side even of the positive happenings
  4. You will feel depressed, sad every time
  5. You will try to find agony and sadness even in the happiness
  6. You can lose your loved ones
  7. You won’t be able to find the purpose of life

10. Forgive To Let Go Of The Grudges

Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting. Forgiving means to admit that no one is perfect; we all lack somewhere. To forgive someone is to admit the fact we are human, and we do make mistakes, so it’s okay to let go of the thing that hurt you.

Forgiving is important in how to let of grudges
Forgiving is important in how to let of grudges.

Forgiving is not an easy way to do but the best and only thing that can bring peace. You can say that you can buy peace at the cost of forgiving and here are some of the benefits of forgiving:

  1. Healthy relationships 
  2. You can enhance your mental health
  3. Less anxiety
  4. Reduce stress
  5. Less chance of blood pressure issue
  6. Tough immune system
  7. Higher self-esteem
  8. Healthy heart

11. Find Yourself To Have A Better Version Of You

Once you learned how to let go of grudges, you have to explore yourself. Be aware of what you are capable of doing. You have done cleaning your heart from negative thoughts for life and others. You will see yourself that you will find a more beautiful person in you.

Find yourself when you have learned how to let go of grudges
Find yourself when you have learned how to let go of grudges.

A new person will emerge with strong hope, willpower, and more positive than before. You will find your layers, unlock new and amazing textures of being a human being.

Last but not least, you will start accepting things with optimistic thinking. Your power to understand will get stronger and stronger. 

12. Advice Others To Forgive To Let Go Of The Grudges

The last step on your way to how to let go of grudges is to guide your siblings, friends, and loved ones to forgive others. Teach them in the way you taught yourself. Help them because not everyone is strong enough to let go of the sadness as you are strong.

Advice others on how to let go of grudges
Advice others on how to let go of grudges

Show them the path. The path which can lead them to bring peace and harmony, a path which can make them able to perceive positivity even in the darkest days of their life. Once they go through this whole process, tell them to help others as you have helped them on how to let go of the grudges.


We can sum up the whole route towards forgiveness here, starting from owning the issue. Once you know where it all has started, share your feelings with someone you are comfortable with. If you are not good at sharing, you can also share your emotions by writing somewhere or through meditation.

The next step is to try to understand them, try to understand what they have been into and why they have hurt you. Don’t wait for them to say sorry once you understand them. You don’t have to discuss it with everyone. Be positive and try to pull yourself out of that grudge.

Forgive, find yourself, and tell others to let go of the grudges.

Leave a Comment