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Why am I such a loser? This thought was constant throughout my teenage and early adulthood life.
Because my mind was engulfed with negative thoughts and self-doubts. If I planned something and it went wrong, I would think I am such a loser. When I am too hard at myself due to work stress, it makes me feel I am up to no good.
So these thoughts can incur a lot of negativity in our minds, which can destroy our positive approach towards life.
4 Most Common Traits of Losers in Life
1. Given Up on Life
While giving up in life is not always a negative thing to do, but giving up on life is another game altogether. The main and most dominant trait of all losers in life is that they give up too early on life and lose all hope.
2. Wants to Talk on Other People’s Dreams
Losers don’t have their own dreams and goals. They always lynch on the aspirations of other people and thus never take responsibility for life. If you are asking yourself “Why am I such a Loser? then also ask yourself if you are following your own dreams or of others?
3. Shows Zero Purpose or Reason for Living
Viktor Frankl wrote a great book where he showed that having the meaning of life is the ultimate thing to have. In his book, man’s search for meaning, Viktor Frankl shared the importance of having a reason to live. He shared how he was snatched of everything, yet he came out as a winner, just because he had a meaning of life.
4. Remains Demotivated and Uninspired
As the losers in life don’t have any meaning in life, they usually remain demotivated. They are not inspired to do things for anyone, even for themselves.
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How a Person becomes a Loser? – You Can Win Life Again!
Remember, no one is born a loser.
Losers are created when a person experiences a significant failure or hits rock bottom. We all have known failures, but a loser is born when these circumstances don’t let him bounce back at the life and take charge.
Losers are shaped up when they become overly cynical and have nothing positive in their life. As a result, they give up on their life and have zero motivation to do anything. They spawn a mindset which comprises of the lack of gratitude for what they have. They become selfish, irresponsible, and thus, the biggest losers in real.
How Does it Feel When Somone Calls You a Loser?
It is obvious that when someone calls us a Loser, we feel bad. It is a natural reaction that springs out involuntarily. Diving deep into the mind of this depressed person, we will see that there are numerous reasons why he thinks like that.
For instance, X is a student. He works five to six shifts a week. He gets dropped to one and feels like a loser. Also, his university grades are declining, and he cannot help but sulk at the results. No matter how hard he tries, he is unable to concentrate.
X has lost his friends due to recent rudeness in his attitude and harsh behavior. He has not learned to drive yet as he is eighteen years old now. It is difficult for him to experience new relationships because they bring a long string of self-doubts and other fears with them. X feels bad, demotivated, dejected and hopeless about his life- quite exactly what a loser feels.
Here are the ways you should embrace if you don’t want to think,”why am I such a loser?” again.
1. Keep a Distance From Broad Generalizations
One or two things may have gone wrong but it does not mean your whole life was a mess.
Think of your failures as small building blocks of your success building. Two or three things going out of routine are natural and you must not put yourself in the generalized term of losers because of this. Think of yourself the way that we think of athletes: an athlete can win a race or a game, but we still see them as successful.
We still respect the effort that they put into their careers, how successful they have been in the past, and that they are likely to succeed in the future. When you put light on your significant positives instead of generalizing yourself, you can leave what does not work for you and start building on what matters.
2. Must-Have a Backup support
You must always have a rich relationship with your friends, family and loved ones. That way, if something goes wrong at your workplace, you have these secure areas to rely on. You should also have interesting hobbies that define your personality and ensure your mental growth.
3. List Your Achievements
We are expected to produce success as a default by most societies. These societies have made some factors as key identifiers of success. These are a good job, a good education, enough money in our bank accounts and your own home.
Other than that, every other quality or aspect is termed as an unsuccessful one. In truth, success is far away from these standards of the world. Success means happiness over your personal achievements.
You learn a new language, a new sport or any other skill. It is an achievement and your success. Therefore, next time if you have thoughts like, “why am I such a loser?”, consider writing all you have achieved. This will make you feel a lot better.
4. Exercise Self-Control
Self-control does not let you give in to meaningless temptations and saves you from the disgrace of being a loser. Being in control means keeping your mind in check. So you better learn to master it instead of crying some time later on being such a loser.
5. Avoid Spending Too Much Time on Problems
Life is a package of problems and we should not waste most of the time being pissed off by them.
Instead, we should divert our time and energy to solving those problems. If a person loses more of his time in being distressed rather than channeling his energy into solving, then he is a loser for sure. He must abide by the 80-/20 % rule. Where 20% time is gone thinking about the negativity, the problem brings with it, and 80% is used to find solutions.
So next time, try thinking about the answers rather than crying over the mess.
6. Find Purpose in Your Life
It is imperative to find purpose and meaning in life. One can be on the verge of death if he does not know what is he doing in this world. Life provides you a thousand reasons to live by. It is the mind that has to extract meaning out of those.
No one was born with a purpose; we all create one out of thin air based on our passion and confidence in who we are. No purpose in life would bring an unhappy state of mind, which will not let us enjoy all the goodies which life has to offer.
7. Stop Being Selfish
Stop being selfish. It is a trait of the losers. Instead, learn to care for yourself and for others too. Life has a lot of beautiful things in store for you, embrace them with open arms. Be kind, and learn to be happy for others.
Selfishness creates unrest inside your mind, which is harmful to your health. So let go of the negative aspects of selfishness and welcome the kindness and love instead.
8. Connect with True Friends
Real friends are a blessing in today’s world.
Firstly, they give you the validation that you need to recognize and appreciate everything good in you.
Secondly, they provide you the emotional support you need.
Thirdly, they are honest and kind to you.
If you still hanging out with your not so true friends, then start finding the real ones. They will be challenging to find, but they will make your life better for sure. Real friends are the best persons when it comes to seeking advice. They are your unpaid therapists because they listen to everything you have to say and give advice empathizing with what you feel and keeping in mind what is best for you.
Therefore, start looking out for your faithful friend(s) and make your life a beautiful one.
9. Prefer Quality Over Quantity
Try prioritizing quality over quantity. This trait will help you to gain weight-age in life and will set out things in clarity before you. The amount might entice you, but it is short-lived, whereas quality is long-lasting and helps you define your unique character.
5-Minute Power Exercise to Never Feel a Loser Again
Practice this five-minute breathing exercise in a quiet spot so you can be fully aware of your thoughts and perceptions at that time. Start breathing consciously three times and then take a break. Breathe in deeply this time, filling your belly with air and then exhale.
Do this for one to three minutes as you begin to replace your thoughts with positive thinking. Cancel any negative impression on the spot and visualize the ideal outcome.
This is the best prevention tool for loserhood as it gives meaning and sensibility to your thought.
FAQ – Frequently Asked Questions on why I am a such a Loser?
What makes a person a loser?
Losers are made when they become excessively negative and have nothing positive in their life. This outlook is made through an absence of appreciation and gratefulness for what they do have. Self-centeredness turns into the prevailing method of living and every other person is the issue in their eyes.
How do I stop thinking I am a loser?
We can stop thinking that I am a loser in the event that you quit concentrating on undesirable considerations that you are a failure. Try not to harp on yourself! Over and again believing that you are a washout just compounds the situation. Your considerations will snowball except if you interfere with them.
How does it feel to be a loser?
It removes the sting, and when you quit battling the sentiment of being a washout, you basically quit feeling like one. Rather, you feel like what your identity is, or, at the end of the day, you figure out how to acknowledge your missteps or to acknowledge occasions throughout your life that have thrown you down, which permits you to push ahead.
What is loser mentality?
Individuals who are frightful need control, and that is the washout attitude. The washout attitude is that things should be done each and every way that you need them done, supposing that they’re not done that way, well, at that point you lose control.
Conclusion “Why Am I Such a Pathetic Loser”
It all depends on the person himself. He is the one to initiate all those negative thoughts in his mind. One can change anything once he notices how he is living his life. The real deals to find the purpose of life, motivation to strive and finally achieving your goals. By doing this you will not be calling yourself a loser anymore.