Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist

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Are you exhausted from dealing with a narcissist? Well, this article is for you!! Here you will find funny things to say to a narcissistic which will help you knock down a narcissist with humor.

Understanding the concept behind narcissism is important before deciding the route to take when stuck with a narcissist. A narcissist is more or less a person who is obsessed with one’s self and refuses to understand that he is no above all humanity. He often tries to manipulate the opposite person and sometimes even says that he believes that he is taking a rather humble approach. 

What is Narcissism?

If we take a more scientific approach, Narcissism is a mental health problem in which a person has an inflated sense of self-worth and an excessive need for attention. They always make choices that benefit themselves. Such people lack empathy towards other people. Narcissism traits show up in teens and early adulthood. And it is complex that leads a person to this condition. But there are multiple factors that cause narcissism to show up. It’s a combination of genetic factors, neurological factors, and the environment in which the person lives.

“Behind every narcissist is an extremely insecure person”

“Behind every narcissist is an extremely insecure person”

The narcissist feels “small,” so they make themselves look “big.” They somewhat have been targeted with an inferiority complex in some part of their lives that has lead them to a path where either they gain a certain quality to show off or simply they become obsessed with being concerned about themselves that they forget that the world surprisingly does not stop with them, ouch! It is somehow still a challenge to identify a narcissist. These are the people with, particularly difficult personality traits. It is very important to identify narcissists around you and to know how to deal with them.

Traits of a Narcissist and the Underlying Reason

Narcissists are very innocent people, they often believe that the world revolves around them and that the world might just collapse if they decide not to cooperate with it. As if! 

  1. Oh my Goodness, it is not my fault!! 

Because it never is. A narcissist never, ever admit his mistake. 

     2. Why are you overreacting?

Well, because you are not reacting!. They just do not care what goes around in the world, they do not have time to, they are too obsessed with the mirror.

     3. I did not expect this from you.

This right here is their common trait. They often manipulate you by putting you through guilt for your own actions. They will make you apologize, forgive you and tell you that they are the bigger person.

     4. Why is everything a problem with you?

when you finally decide to confront them about any trait of theirs, they are going to simply blame it on you and think that you consider everything to be a problem because after all, since the world revolves around them, you are not allowed to have problems.

     5. I need my personal space

They always do. Their private life is entirely the concern they have and they cannot share their life with anyone.

      6. Do you need space from me?

They try to trigger your trust when you ask for space. They require you to be available at all times and cannot stand when you aren’t available. Your private life does not exist

  1. I have a life too, I cannot always be there for you!
  2. Oh boy, you never are there for us because since everything is run by the presence of your grace, you do not simply have time for other people.
  3. So, this happened, and this, what must I do? Oh okay, thank you, bye. 

Everything with them is about them. They call you and speak to you at their time of convenience for a matter, that is about them. 

  1. Silent Treatments

They neglect everything that isn’t directly or at least indirectly about them. This scenario will most probably enrage them and challenge their good being resulting in silence.

     2. Yeah, hey okay but –

They always interrupt you. Because of course, your words are not important. Let us talk about ME!

So basically, they are manipulative people who play the blame game and expect you to cope up with it because well, that is the cost of being in their life.

Relationship with Narcissist

There are 3 stages of a relationship with a narcissist. And they use different phases in every stage. These are:

1. The Ideal Stage

At the start of the relationship they use phrases like:

  • You are my soulmate
  • I have never met anyone like you before
  • No one understands me as you do
  • It the destiny we have met
  • I have never felt such beautiful feelings before
  • I love you so much that you don’t need anyone else
  • You are just perfect
  • We will be always together

2. The devalue stage

After giving you ideal days of your life their next stage is to devalue you. Once the narcissist knows you are with them completely they take no time to show their true colors. So they start to insult you and criticize every little thing you do. They say everything to make you feel belittled and your confidence gets shattered. 

During this phase they utter phrases like:

  • Are you crazy?
  • You are over-sensitive
  • No one likes you
  • Why are you so insecure
  • What’s your problem?
  • Am I less important to you than your friends?
  • Why do you always start crying
  • You are so negative

They also devalue everything you love, such as your interest, hobbies, or family. They Insult you by saying:

  • Your friends are not good
  • Do you like this dress? It’s terrible
  • I can’t believe you enjoy playing piano
  • Your parents do not like me, so stop meeting them
  • This makes you look so stupid.
  • Your dress is weird
  • You can not wear this because I don’t like it

3. The discard stage

When a narcissist has destroyed you emotionally or they have found another person to the abuse they get even worse with you. Their insults are at the worst level. So they leave the relationship as a “winner”

They hurl poison at the victim as:

  • Everyone hates you
  • You are the worst person
  • no one can love you 
  • You will alone for the rest of your life
  • You yourself are your enemy
  • Everything with you is drama
  • You do not love me enough
  • You never tried to be with me

Thus, it will end up not only in heartbreak but also indulging in you judging yourself and becoming a victim of inferiority complex. It must be understood that a narcissist can only move in a relationship that is either equally narcissistic or if the relationship is actually always all about him –which is not really possible.

The Element of Humor in Narcissism

Narcissists are no doubt people of high morale and fake belief of grandeur. However, they are quite innocent people. They do not necessarily ridicule their behavior but are forced to do so -by their appearance of grandeur, oops!. It is believed that arguing with a narcissist is like arguing while getting arrested – everything can and will be used against you.

Thus, you must apologize instantly by saying “I’m sorry for arguing while you were the one who started it.”. I believe, however that there is everyone out there for everyone. For a narcissist, I believe, there is a psychiatrist – or even better, a therapy of ECT. Usually, when narcissists stop talking and leave, I imagine that the trash is taking itself out – in a funny way of course. We can also write attention on a piece of paper and hand it to the narcissists when they begin to speak.

Their mind works in a funny way. They can find themselves in every situation and deal with it accordingly. They are so  low in confidence that they end up being good in it. Whatsoever, trust me, Narcissists are actually really good people – well at least they think so.

Top Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist

Dealing with a narcissist can be difficult. They think that every time it’s all about them. They neither think of others nor their feelings. Having narcissists in your life can be very irritating to manage. Following are the best comebacks for a narcissistic to try:

  1. I am not an astrologer but I am sure that the earth still revolves around the sun, not around you.
  2. Oh! I forgot that I only exist when you need me.
  3.  Go and pour a glass over you, because unfortunately to your surprise, no one else is going to do for you.
  4. Feed your ego yourself, I am busy doing important things.
  5. I have this wonderful plan where we can equally love each other instead of just me loving you. 
  6. Why did you cross the road? You must have thought it was a boundary
  7. Some people are just beautifully wrapped boxes of trash. Oh, sorry, did it hurt your inflated ego?
  8. Clean your mouth, there is still some trash around your lips
Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist
Why did you cross the road? You must have thought it was a boundary
Clean your mouth, there is still some trash around your lips
  1. Hey, do you know how many people like you does it take to change a light bulb? None. You all use gaslighting 
  2. Do you guys have a helpline that is ought to be like Hey, how can you help me?
funny narcissist helpline

Conclusion – Funny Things to Say to a Narcissist

Well, in all admiration of the phrases you can use to belittle a narcissist, it is not really something that can cause them to waver. They always have reasons and notions that will gather them the pity of their new surroundings. It must be understood that therapy for a narcissist is an extremely hard part for they only listen to two people 

  1.  Those who inflate their ego
  2. Themselves 

They whatsoever have no interest in talking about them being on the downside of the road. Try arguing with their narcissism and watch how you end up out of their life and how quickly the new circle around them builds and begins to hate you. Thus, one must be aware of how to deal with them and how to gradually and slowly give them the much-needed reality checks about life. But firstly, try to stay away from narcissists at all costs for they are undeniably nightmares dressed like a daydream!.

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