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Ghosting is a common practice in the dating world and women are usually on the receiving end of it. Getting ghosted can leave you reeling in anger and resentment for a long time if you don’t know how to deal with it. Ghosting can be emotionally painful and is not a practice for mature adults, but something done by insecure kids.
Ghosting is annoying. But what can you do about it? In this post, I will share with you 11 simple steps you can use that will teach you how to make a guy regret ghosting you. Rather than just feeling bad, these tips will help you bring a little bit of your pain onto the guy, and hopefully teach him a lesson so that he does not hurt others in the future.
What is Ghosting?
Ghosting is when someone cuts off all forms of communication without notice or explanation, whether you’re dating them online or in real life. Being ghosted is like suddenly getting dumped and is basically “rejection without closure”.
People have been vanishing from their dates and partners from time immemorial. The experience is difficult to get over when it happens. Research shows that 13% to 23% of the U.S population have experienced ghosting. No matter how historical or prevalent it is, it sucks and hurts terribly.
The pain intensifies when he doesn’t respond to your texts or calls or give you closure. The same research found that the participants (males and females) experienced less satisfaction with life, more helplessness, and loneliness as a result.
Why Ghosting Hurts and How to Cope
You and your guy are texting and calling back and forth, meeting up for dates, and having fun times. Out of nowhere, he doesn’t reply to your text messages or calls the entire day, the next day, and the next. Poof! He simply disappeared into thin air.
You wanna know what in the world just happened as you fixate on all the reasons why he vanished. You feel kicked in the gut, confused, angry, hurt, and betrayed… only because you actually liked the dude. Now, you’re not even sure what to think or feel. Ghosting will cause you to feel numb, and paranoid, and drive you to doubts, self-blame, and negative self-talk.
One of the primary reasons ghosting hurts is because we perceive it as rejection and abandonment. That perception can make us feel unworthy of love. Regardless of if you just met the guy or knew him for a while, that awful feeling still lingers. You might assume you did something wrong. Further, failing to get answers or closure can leave an open wound that’ll fester unless you take back your power.
Here’s how to avoid letting this insecure guy’s behavior get to you:
- Change your perception: Changing how you view the event helps change how you feel and, ultimately, the outcome. You’ll get to choose how you want the experience to affect you. Will it leave you torn and bitter or grateful the guy removed himself and made space for someone who will give you the respect you deserve?
- Avoid self-blame: When unpleasant things happen, we have a tendency to place blame either on ourselves or someone else. You’re not responsible for his actions. He chose to cut ties without telling you why.
- Feel your feelings: Ghosting triggers emotions such as shock, denial, anger, and frustration. Process, instead of masking or avoiding these feelings with temporary distractions.
- Accept what happened: Accepting the reality of an event allows you to cope and move on. Chances are you’ll go through the stages of grief if you were in an established relationship with the guy. His disappearance counts as a loss and you’ll need to process your feelings to get to a place of acceptance.
- Seek therapy: Talking to a psychotherapist might be a good idea if you’re left traumatized and unable to cope on your own. Your therapist will provide tools to help you put the ordeal in perspective and heal from it.
How to Respond to Ghosting
Everyone responds differently to sudden avoidance or abandonment by someone they trusted or were emotionally attached to. Here’s how you can deal with this guy. Be classy instead of coming across as desperate and insecure. Show him he ain’t all that by doing one major thing: don’t chase after him. That will have him second-guessing himself and regretting what he’s done.
Resist the temptation to get answers. Unanswered texts or calls make you feel ignored and can trigger all kinds of insecurities within you. In an attempt to get answers or avoid abandonment, you might continue texting or calling. Don’t be that girl. This will only make you feel worse. He’s alive. He sees your text. He gets your calls. He’s just not responding.
How To Make a Guy Regret Ghosting You
Ghosting is a traumatic experience for many people and can reopen old soul wounds related to parental neglect or abandonment or betrayal by an attachment figure. Emotional distress, lowered self-esteem, shame, anxiety, or depression may also result. These and other mental health effects are why ghosting is never okay and should NEVER be tolerated.
But what can you DO about ghosting? How can you make a guy regret ghosting you? How can you teach a guy that ghosting is not the proper way to end a relationship so that you can help others not get ghosted by the same man in the future.
While it is best to focus on coping, healing, and living your best life in such a way that he’ll regret his decision, below we focus on 11 practical steps on how to make a guy regret ghosting you. Let’s get to it…
1. Don’t retaliate
Some guys might just disappear to see how you’ll react. Maybe he’s insecure and is gauging your feelings for him. Another reason could be trying to get a rise out of you., even though this is cold-hearted and cruel.
Some men thrive on negative attention and drama, so ghosting you and watching you lose your cool is actually fuel for their ego. Don’t fall for it. Resist getting all worked up and sending him angry text messages telling him how much of a weak fool he is. He’ll probably turn it around and call you crazy to justify his disappearance.
2. Do NOT chase
To a guy, there is no woman sexier than one who doesn’t chase after him, especially after he abruptly ends the relationship. Men are wired by nature to hunt women. You risk appearing clingy, needy, and less valuable in his eyes. He has already made it clear that he isn’t deserving of you.
If you run after him, he’ll think you can’t do better than him and will leverage that to continue disrespecting you. At best, it’ll turn into a one-sided relationship. You’ll be anxious not knowing when he’s going to run off and break your heart again. Don’t give him that power over you.
3. Delete and block
Hitting “delete” and “block” is my personal favorite since it functions as a coping strategy. Experts are divided on going this route. Some refer to the move as drastic and immature, while others believe deleting and blocking someone toxic can protect your mental health. Blocking is your call.
I support taking any step necessary to guard yourself against the passive-aggressiveness and borderline emotional abuse of ghosting.
Casper will be kicking himself when he calls and hears, “The person you have called is unavailable,” or realizes he has been unfriended and blocked on social media. Besides, you’ll avoid an emotional setback if the ghost returns to haunt you.
4. Don’t reconnect
Once you regain your composure and are feeling good about yourself, you may feel tempted to reach out to the guy. It could be out of curiosity, remembering the good times, or on a day you’re feeling down. Distract yourself with activities such as journaling or watching your favorite show. The feeling will pass and you won’t have to deal with feeling awful or rejected if he doesn’t reply.
Trust me, he’ll feel shitty after weeks and months have passed and all you’ve given him is radio silence. Imagine how a ghoster feels when he’s ghosted by the ghostee. Some experts call it the no contact rule; others call it the silent treatment. Finally, a woman has the balls to give him a taste of his own medicine.
5. Don’t take his crumbs
Again, not everyone believes in blocking. You might be someone who is okay leaving the lines of communication open. If you’re willing to take that risk, keep in mind that he could suddenly pop up in your social media DM after days, weeks, or months pass. And he’s not coming back to pledge love and commitment.
Instead, he’ll resort to bread crumbing (texting you off and on) to rehook you and string you along. It’s game-playing and a form of manipulation to feed the ego, knowing fully he has no intention of taking you seriously.
6. Leave his messages on “read”
Let’s say you initially blocked him, then unblocked him after you recovered emotionally. Out of the blue, his message pops up. “Hey, hope you’re doing well.” No apologies. He’ll just act as if nothing happened. Hell, yeah! You’re doing just fine without him, but your well-being is none of his business.
Read but don’t react or reply. Not even an emoji. Let him feel the sting of rejection from being ignored when he realizes you left him on ‘read.’ You’re not trying to be mean or playing tit for tat. You’re no longer interested and it’ll make him regret ghosting you.
7. Keep on doing fun things
I bet you’re beginning to realize how to make a guy regret ghosting you is really straightforward. Just do you. He’ll hover and possibly beg for another chance to make things right. Now’s not the time for letting up. Keep enjoying yourself with your girlfriends and family.
Go on trips to places on your bucket list or explore the city. Take up a new hobby. It could be salsa dancing, skating, yoga, painting, or crafting. By genuinely having fun, you’ll convey that you’re not affected the way he expected. Boy, toodle-oo! Life goes on, and you’re having a great time.
8. Focus more on self-care
Self-care is showing love to yourself. As women, we sometimes put our partner’s needs ahead of ours. Caring for loved ones is admirable, but shouldn’t be at the expense of self-care. You must indulge more in activities that promote well-being and increase happiness now that the guy took himself out of the way.
Go to the salon, treat yourself to a spa day, change your wardrobe, exercise, and eat healthier. Enhance your mental wellness through meditation, mindfulness, journaling, positive self-affirmations, setting new goals, or accomplishing goals you put on hold for him.
9. Delete his comments
Is this guy suddenly stalking your Instagram, liking your photos, and commenting on how amazing you look? He’s got brass balls. He realized what he did. Now he’s hovering, hoping to get back in your good graces. He may use the platform as a way to test the waters and as a lead-up to calling or texting you by phone.
Don’t let the flattery get to your head. You know you’re beautiful inside and out and aren’t shy about exuding confidence. Delete his comments to show him you don’t need his validation. He’ll be pissed, but hey, he’s the one who cut you off. Let him deal with the consequences.
10. Be unavailable
This guy might decide he wants in again and sends you a message that goes like this: “Hey, was wondering if you wanna meet for coffee?” If you’ve ignored him long enough and he doesn’t get the message, maybe you can reply with, “Hey, I’ve upgraded.” Hopefully, he knows how to read between the lines. Ha! Now he has to think of another bait to hook you, but you’re not biting.
Casper might message again, “Ha! Funny. How about dinner this Friday, then?” “Wherever you wanna go. My treat.” Why doesn’t this guy treat himself to a GOODBYE? If you choose to reply, tell him, “No thanks. I’ve got plans.” And just like that, your value goes up in his eyes.
He had you and let you go; now he has to chase you down to get you back. The only difference between then and now is, that you’re over him. Point blank period.
11. Date someone who truly cares for you
Nothing hurts a man more than when he thinks you’re not good enough for him, then he sees you happy with a better man. I’m not saying to go plant yourself in a relationship just to get back at Casper. I’m talking about a genuine relationship, where there’s mutual respect, honesty, and love.
One day Mr. Ghost might see your romantic photos on social media (yes, he might continue to follow you if he wasn’t blocked). He will feel jealous and like a jerk for letting go of such an amazing woman, aka YOU.
Final Thoughts on How to Make a Guy Regret Ghosting You
Ghosting is a cruel and selfish act. Now that you understand how to make a guy regret ghosting you, it’s time to unleash the strategies on him. If Mr. Vanished insists on being an irritant, then blocking him for good on all platforms might be an effective way to get rid of him and protect your mental health.
Ultimately, living your best life will get under his skin. It might be difficult at first. However, processing your feelings, accepting, forgiving, and pouring on self-love will help you overcome and move on. For more coping and empowerment tips, I recommend How To Deal With Rejection: 10 Psychological Tips To Handle It.