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Imagine yourself going to your workplace and your ex comes in front of you? Ahh! How ridiculous it is to think of, Right?
Dealing with stalkers can be an extremely distressful and problematic thing if not handled timely. Stalking is referred to as a behavior that can make the other person feel uncomfortable. Most of the time, stalkers can make someone’s life hell by pressurizing and frightening the victim in an inappropriate manner
Keep reading if you are the one who’s been a victim of such behavior.
12 Proven Ways on How to Deal with Stalkers
Let’s have a look at 12 effective ways to get rid of stalkers
1. Seek Immediate Help
Telling someone you trust can be extremely helpful while dealing with such cases. He/she can be your family, friend, or any colleague. Be expressive about what’s going around you and whatsoever is disturbing you.
2. Stay Observant
If you doubt that someone is stalking you, you should be extra observant of your surroundings. Be vigilant about every single change you notice around your workplace or nearby your home.
3. Document Everything
From every single call, message, or email you receive to every single person you meet, note it down. It is always the best approach to have evidence against the stalker in case you bring him down to his knees in court.
Documenting everything is important in learning how to deal with stalkers, because it can help you prove things later factually.
4. Cut off Communication with the Stalker
If you are the one being stalked, immediately avoid or cut off contact with the stalker. Stalker thinks that they are in a relationship with you but actually, that’s not the case. Their nonexistent validation leads to mere disappointment in the end.
5. Avoid Unintentional Signs
Signs, gestures, or any kind of action on behalf of the victim can be misunderstood by a stalker as a heart-melting thing. Try to be unresponsive to all kinds of phone calls and messages no matter how negatively overwhelming it is for you. For your peace of mind, block them.
6. Hide your Personal Information
Stalkers can misuse your personal information. Do not share your personal information with anyone except your close friends and family.
Following are some tips that you can follow to hide your personal information:
- Never say your phone number aloud in public places.
- If you need to share your number, try to write it down or use your mobile phone
- Avoid putting your home address in your journals. Your lost journal could become a potential source of stalking and can have serious consequences in your life.
- Do not publicly, share your home address or place of work on social media platforms. The probability of finding you is much greater than before. Moreover, it gives online stalker an opportunity to know more about you.
7. Move to an Undisclosed Location
In extreme cases of stalking, the victim should try to find a new accommodation place to get rid of the stalker disturbing their peace of mind and life.
8. Report Stalking threats to Police
Always try to seek help from the police if you somehow feel helpless. Tell them how several past instances made you fearful. Show them all the shreds of evidence you documented earlier. Make sure you seek their assistance to keep track of the unwanted incidents happening with you for safety.
9. Make a Safety Plan
If you feel agitated with the ongoing situation, always try to keep yourself on the safe side. Keep your phone charged. Keep your self-defense tools with you. Before leaving home, tell your friend about your whereabouts. Be reluctant to move alone if you have been constantly followed by someone you doubt about.
10. Make Efficient use of Technology
Protect yourself before any mishap occurs. Make customized settings in your phone beforehand. Allow your phone to take pictures if sensors hear any yelling sound. Allow your phone to immediately call emergency contacts and take pictures in such a situation.
11. Invest in Security Tools
Setting up security cameras, locks and alarms can be extremely helpful if you may experience such an issue.
12. Seek help from a devoted violence prevention organization
There must be an NGO in your area of the city that works to prevent such heinous crimes. If you do not feel like sharing this problematic situation with your close friends or family or police try to get in touch with a resource that deals with it. Appropriate and timely consultation can save you from a big danger ahead.
Why Do Stalkers Stalk?
So, the question is what can you do to deal with stalkers? You can immediately seek help from someone you trust. But before that let’s identify the reasons behind this behavior.
A stalker can be your ex-husband or your ex-boyfriend. In order to satisfy their ego, mostly stalkers use their ex-partners with whom they have been in any kind of relationship. Stalkers also see themselves as victims of any kind of violence from the past. The fear of being alone doesn’t let them live peacefully.
Out of the five personality traits, stalkers have been identified with a narcissistic attitude. Inability to manage rejections, failures, embarrassments, shame, or loss. Stalkers usually do not respect how the other person is feeling. They show no limits while they bombard someone’s privacy.
Stalkers live in a fantasy world. Their sense of discretion between the fantasy life and practical life seems blurred. They are unable to differentiate between fact and fiction. Often, stalkers make up their minds and want to commit violence at any cost. This attitude has been seen mostly in romantic relationships. They try to convince their partners to behave the way they have imagined.
Some stalkers are obsessed with plenty of aspects of their life. Repeatedly same thinking pattern about the person they like or love makes them a mere stalker. This obsession reaches a dangerous level when they completely forget to eat, unable to sleep, and seem disinterested in their professional life.
Worst-case scenarios of stalking include following the person being stalked to home, to their work and often presenting them unwanted gifts
Stalkers want to control the victim with their actions. They end up developing a negative opinion about their partners in a relationship. They usually show no excitement over their partners’ achievements.
6. Mental Health Issues
One of the reasons that lead to the development of stalking behavior is mental health issues. These issues may result from an inferiority complex and bullying.
7. Intellectual Difficulties
Intellectual difficulties could also be one of the highlighted areas while determining the personality traits of the stalker. At times, your ex-spouse or boyfriend might be the one going through this issue ultimately leading to this abusive yet not so workable relationship.
8. Childhood trauma
Growing up in an environment of violence and oppression is a major contributor to a behavior called stalking. With time, stalkers can go to any extent traumatizing the victim.
What Actions are Actually Stalking?
Moving on, let’s determine the actions that qualify as stalking
- Keeping a check on the victim; wherever they are going and with whom they are meeting
- Sending them unwanted gifts and presents
- Following victim’s social media accounts and continuously communicate with them via text messages and emails on various social media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram
- Threatening victim as well as his/her family to do something as per their will
- Spreading rumors and false information online about their victim
- Damaging victims’ property and violating their personal space
- Threatening and forcing a victim to follow up with their increasing demands day by day
Five Types of Stalkers
There are four types of stalkers:
The offender uses social media platforms to follow the victim. Facebook, Instagram, Linked In, Snapchat, and Twitter are some of the common means of reaching out to the victim. Disturbing victims by sending them messages and keeping a check on their news feed are some of the characteristics that qualify offenders as online stalkers.
2. Celebrity Stalker
The offender in this type has merely an obsession with the celebrity they adore. They fantasize about their fan-celebrity relationship and want the celebrities to behave the way they want.
3. Private Stranger Stalker
Someone with whom the victim has met hardly once or twice. This one instance could trigger their feelings of obsession and love with the person they met.
4. Intimate Stalker
This type of stalker is a person who has previously been in a romantic or sexual relationship. The probability of damage to the victim is highest with these type of stalkers
5. Acquaintance Stalker
Your co-worker, your neighbor, or your friend can be an acquaintance stalker. These types of stalkers take advantage of the victim through blackmailing.
Things Stalkers Say to Trap You
In order to seek attention and emotional support, stalkers usually try to lure the victim into their trap. They abuse, make false promises and try to indulge you in a situation for mere sympathy. They will mold your words during a conversation to get onto their main agenda. They will play with your insecurities and threaten you to make an accusation that deteriorates your image in society.
Here’s a list of things stalkers say:
- Why have you done this to me? I was so sincere with you
- I need one last chance; I promise you won’t regret it
- I will post your pictures (not so sober) on the internet to ruin your social image
- Someone must have brainwashed you against me
- I have done so many things for you; all those expensive & branded gifts?
- You have become so rigid and selfish
As terrifying it can be, stalking can be controlled if the victim is strong enough to take action against it. Proper counseling and education can have impactful results to put stalking to its end. Your immediate and on-time actions will pave the ways for you to get rid of this miserable situation.
Always remember that you are not the one who’s responsible for it but you are the one who can walk away and leave when the situation gets worse. Your willingness and determination are the keys to get rid of that nasty stalker.