18 Blatant Signs She is Pretending to Love You

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Love is a beautiful and profound emotion, capable of bringing immense joy and fulfillment into our lives.

But it’s important to recognize when love is genuine and reciprocated. We’ve all heard stories or experienced moments when doubts arise about the authenticity of someone’s feelings.

You may have come upon this post because of your own doubts about your wife or girlfriend’s feelings. In this blog post, we’re going to delve into the signs that might indicate she is pretending to love you and help you navigate the sometimes-confusing landscape of romantic relationships.

The purpose here is not to jump to conclusions or assign blame, but rather to equip yourself with the knowledge to make informed decisions and protect your own heart and empower you to make choices that align with your happiness and well-being.

Recognizing these signs is important, but communication is key. Don’t hesitate to have an open and honest conversation with your partner about any concerns or patterns you notice. It’s essential for the health and success of your relationship to maintain trust and transparency.

1. Lack of Emotional Support

When someone is truly in love, they will be there to support their partner emotionally. But if your partner is pretending to love you, you may notice that they don’t offer the same emotional support as before.

For instance, when you share your feelings or talk about something that’s upsetting you, your partner might be dismissive or seem uninterested. In some cases, they might even avoid these conversations entirely or change the subject quickly.

EXAMPLE: Imagine that you’ve had a tough day at work, and you’re looking forward to talking to your partner about it.

Instead of listening and offering comfort, they brush off your concerns and say something like, “You’re always so dramatic. Let’s talk about something else instead.” This lack of emotional support can be a sign that their love for you might not be genuine.

2. Decreased Affection

Another behavior change to watch for when someone might be pretending to love you is a decrease in affection and intimacy.

If your partner is no longer showing the same level of physical affection, such as hugging, kissing, or holding hands, this might be an indication that their feelings for you have changed.

EXAMPLE: In the past, your partner used to always greet you with a warm hug and a kiss after a long day. Now, they don’t seem to want to touch you at all, and when you ask them about it, they brush it off and say that they’re simply tired or not in the mood.

This sudden decrease in affection could be a sign that they’re not as invested in the relationship as they once were, and might be pretending to love you.

3. Avoiding Serious Conversations

One major sign that she might be pretending to love you is if she consistently avoids having serious conversations with you. This can be a way for her to prevent getting too emotionally involved or revealing her true feelings.

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If your partner constantly criticizes your decisions, actions, or appearance, it can be a sign that she is not genuinely in love with you.

For example, she may consistently change the subject when you express concerns about your relationship or when you try to discuss your future together. By refusing to engage in these important conversations, she is likely trying to maintain a degree of emotional distance in your relationship.

EXAMPLE: You may notice that every time you bring up topics like moving in together, your long-term goals as a couple, or even simply discussing your deeper emotions, your partner tends to find an excuse to leave the room, change the subject, or appear disinterested.

This pattern of avoidance suggests they might be pretending to love you, as it prevents them from creating a deeper emotional connection.

4. Short and Vague Responses

Another sign of communication issues that may indicate she is pretending to love you is if she consistently gives you short and vague responses in conversations. When a person truly loves another, they want to engage in meaningful conversations and actively express their thoughts and feelings.

If your partner is often dismissive or unresponsive during conversations and makes no effort to truly engage with you, this could be a red flag that she’s not genuinely invested in the relationship.

EXAMPLE: For instance, when you ask her how her day was, she may simply reply with “fine” or “good” without any elaboration or attempt to delve deeper into the conversation. Conversations feel superficial and lack substance, leaving you feeling disconnected and unsettled.

This consistent pattern of short and vague responses might suggest that she is not genuinely committed to building an emotional connection with you and might be pretending to love you.

5. Hidden Social Media Activity

If she is active on social media but keeps her profiles hidden or set to private, it could be a red flag. She may not want you to see her interactions with other people, or maybe she’s hiding some aspects of her life that could raise questions about her feelings for you.

For example, if she frequently likes or comments on posts from someone you don’t know, it might be worth discussing with her to see if there’s something deeper going on.

EXAMPLE: Imagine you’ve noticed your partner’s Instagram profile is set to private, and she has never accepted your follow request. This could indicate that she is trying to hide her activities from you, or at least not being fully forthcoming with what she shares.

An honest conversation about why her social media is private may help you get to the bottom of her intentions and whether she is sincerely committed to your relationship.

6. Caught in Lies

Another sign of dishonesty is when she gets caught in lies, both big and small. People often lie about insignificant things when they are trying to avoid confrontation, but lying about more important matters could be a sign of deeper issues.

If you notice she has a habit of lying or constantly changing her story, it may be a sign she is not being genuine about her feelings for you.

EXAMPLE: Suppose you’ve noticed that she has been consistently vague about her weekend plans whenever you try to make plans together.

If she later gets caught in a lie about her whereabouts or what she was doing, this could be a sign that she’s not truly committed to your relationship. Pay attention to patterns of dishonesty and communicate your concerns with her to better understand where her priorities lie.

7. Hesitation to Plan the Future

If your partner seems reluctant to discuss future plans with you or make any long-term commitments, this could be an indication that she’s not truly invested in your relationship.

For example, she might avoid discussing ideas for future vacations together, or the possibility of moving in together. If you notice her consistently avoiding conversations about the future, take heed, as this might signal she’s not as committed as she appears.

EXAMPLE: In one instance, you may suggest the idea of adopting a pet together as a shared responsibility. However, her response is vague and non-committal, saying she “doesn’t know” or “isn’t sure” if that’s something she’s interested in doing. This kind of response may indicate her unwillingness to commit to a shared future.

8. Avoiding Meeting Friends and Family

Another sign of a lack of commitment is if she consistently avoids meeting your friends and family. It’s normal for couples to introduce each other to their loved ones as a relationship progresses.

If she keeps finding excuses to avoid these introductions, it could suggest she’s not truly invested in your relationship and doesn’t want to form deeper connections with the people who matter to you.

EXAMPLE: You may invite her to a family gathering or a friend’s birthday party, but she always finds a reason not to attend, such as having prior engagements or claiming to not be feeling well. This pattern of avoidance may indicate she is not genuinely committed to moving your relationship forward.

9. Frequent Cancellations

In relationships, it’s natural to spend time apart, but when your partner starts to have unexplained absences, it might be a sign that she is pretending to love you.

If your partner frequently cancels plans with you at the last minute without a valid reason, it could indicate that she’s not truly excited to spend time with you.

For example, she might tell you she’s feeling unwell only to post pictures on social media with her friends later that night. She might also put off spending time with you for weeks on end just to avoid facing the truth about her feelings.

EXAMPLE: Let’s say you planned a romantic weekend getaway, but your partner cancels at the last minute, saying she has an urgent work project to finish. A few days later, you find out that she spent the weekend with her friends instead. This kind of behavior could signal that she’s pretending to love you while focusing her energy elsewhere.

10. Mysterious Disappearances

Another sign of pretending to love you is when your partner frequently goes missing without any explanation. This could mean she’s spending time with someone else or avoiding you because of her true feelings.

For example, she might regularly claim she’s working late or has an errand to run, only to return home hours later with no real explanation.

EXAMPLE: Imagine you’re watching a movie together, and your partner suddenly leaves the room, saying she needs to make a phone call. Then, she doesn’t return for an hour or even several hours and fails to provide a reasonable explanation for her absence.

This type of behavior could suggest that she’s hiding something or avoiding spending time with you because she’s not genuinely in love.

11. Prioritizes Own Needs

In a relationship, it’s essential to strike a balance between taking care of your own needs and those of your partner. However, if she constantly prioritizes her needs over yours, it might be a sign that she’s pretending to love you.

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A dismissive attitude shows that she doesn’t truly value your input or respect you.

EXAMPLE: If you both agree to watch a movie together but she suddenly changes plans to go out with her friends, leaving you disappointed.

Another example is if she knows you had a rough day and could use some support, yet chooses to focus on herself, not caring about how you feel. This consistent disregard for your feelings and desires can demonstrate her true intentions.

12. Lack of Empathy

When someone is pretending to love you, their selfish behavior becomes more apparent. It can manifest in various ways, such as showing a lack of empathy.

Empathy is crucial in any relationship, allowing you both to understand and support each other. If your partner lacks empathy, it’s likely that they’re not genuinely in love with you.

Instead of offering support or trying to understand your situation, she’s making it about herself, which could be a sign that she’s just pretending to love you.

EXAMPLE: When you have a difficult day at work and share your challenges with her, she brushes it off, dismissing your feelings, or even worse, making it about how her day was harder.

Similarly, if she continuously compares your struggles with hers or others, downplaying your emotions, it can indicate a lack of genuine care for your well-being.

13. Undermining Self-Confidence

Constant criticism can be a sign that she is pretending to love you. When someone genuinely loves you, they will encourage and support you rather than constantly putting you down.

If your partner constantly criticizes your decisions, actions, or appearance, it can be a sign that she is not genuinely in love with you.

For example, if you excitedly share your plans to start a new hobby or take on a new project, and she responds with negativity and undermines your self-confidence by saying that you’re not capable, creative, or talented enough, this could be a sign that she doesn’t really care for you.

EXAMPLE: Let’s say you’ve started exercising and eating healthier, and she constantly criticizes your efforts, saying that you’ll never reach your goals or that your efforts are pointless.

This kind of behavior is not supportive or loving; it is an attempt to sabotage your self-esteem and keep you from being happy with yourself or your accomplishments.

14. Dismissive Attitude

Another form of criticism that can indicate she is pretending to love you is when she is dismissive of your feelings, thoughts, or opinions.

A loving partner will listen and try to understand your perspective, even when disagreeing with you. A dismissive attitude shows that she doesn’t truly value your input or respect you.

For example, when discussing an issue that’s important to you there should be mutual respect and empathy. However, if she consistently dismisses your concerns, belittles your feelings, or tries to make you feel like your opinion doesn’t matter, this can reveal her true feelings towards you.

EXAMPLE: Imagine you’re telling her about a problem you’ve experienced at work, seeking her support and understanding.

If she constantly cuts you off and dismisses your feelings, saying things like, “You’re just being too sensitive” or “You need to get over it,” this is a clear indication that she’s not truly concerned about your well-being and might be pretending to love you.

15. Shifts Blame to You

Defensiveness can be a significant indicator that someone is pretending to love you. When your partner gets defensive easily, it could be a sign they are hiding something or trying to protect their own interests.

When you confront your partner about a potential problem or relationship issue, and they automatically shift the blame to you, it could signal pretense.

For example, if you bring up concerns about their lack of communication and they respond by accusing you of being too needy or demanding, they are not taking responsibility for their actions and might be pretending to love you.

EXAMPLE: You notice that your partner has become increasingly distant and uncommunicative. When you express your concerns about this, they quickly respond that you’re just being overly sensitive or paranoid. Instead of addressing your concerns, they make it seem like it’s your fault for feeling this way.

16. Doesn’t Take Responsibility

Another defensiveness-related warning sign is when your partner refuses to take responsibility for their actions. If they constantly make excuses, justify their behavior, or blame external factors, they might be pretending to love you.

In a genuine relationship, both partners should be able to admit their mistakes and work together towards growth and improvement.

EXAMPLE: Your partner forgets about an important date that you both had been planning to celebrate. When you confront them about it, they claim they were swamped with work and could not find the time to make proper arrangements.

Rather than apologizing and acknowledging their mistake, they brush it off as if it were out of their control, further solidifying the notion that they might be pretending to love you.

17. Lack of Support for Your Goals

One of the most crucial aspects of a loving relationship is being genuinely interested in each other’s lives. When this interest diminishes, it could be a sign that love is waning or even fake.

When a person truly loves you, they will support your aspirations and dreams. However, if your partner isn’t showing any enthusiasm or encouragement for your goals, it may indicate that they are not genuinely invested in you or your relationship.

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If they constantly make excuses, justify their behavior, or blame external factors, they might be pretending to love you.

For example, if you’re pursuing a career change or aiming for a promotion, a loving partner will provide motivation and even assistance when needed.

On the other hand, a partner who is pretending to love you may dismiss your ambitions or overlook their importance altogether.

EXAMPLE: Let’s say you’ve always wanted to start your own business, and you finally have the resources and knowledge to make it happen. But when you share this excitement with your partner, they respond with indifference or even discouragement.

Instead of offering support or discussing strategies, they might change the subject or seem uninterested. This lack of enthusiasm and encouragement could be an indication that their love isn’t genuine.

18. Not Remembering Important Events

Another sign of decreased interest in your life is when your partner constantly forgets important events, such as anniversaries, birthdays, or milestones.

In a loving relationship, these occasions hold significant importance and should be acknowledged and celebrated by both partners.

When you notice these signs in your relationship, it’s essential to have open and honest communication with your partner. Discuss how their lack of interest in your life affects you and if it is an indication that they might be pretending to love you.

Remember, genuine love should involve support, encouragement, and taking an interest in each other’s lives.

EXAMPLE: Imagine you’ve just been awarded a prestigious recognition at work that you’ve been striving for over the past year.

You excitedly share the news with your partner, only to find that they’ve forgotten or seem uninterested in your achievement. This lack of excitement and forgetfulness may suggest that their love for you is not real.

Final Thoughts on the Signs She is Pretending to Love You

Ultimately, you deserve to be in a relationship where love is authentic, supportive, and reciprocated. Trust your instincts and don’t settle for anything less.

While these signs may raise red flags, it’s crucial to approach any relationship issue with open communication, empathy, and understanding. Sometimes, misunderstandings or emotional barriers can be resolved through honest conversations and a willingness to work together.

Remember, the purpose of identifying these signs is not to foster mistrust or skepticism, but rather to help you protect your emotional well-being.

You have the power to create the love and happiness you deserve. Keep your heart open, value your own worth, and cherish the connections that bring genuine love into your life.

And if you’re looking for more resources to help you navigate romantic relationships, check out these articles:

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