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No one wants to to be rejected. It hurts when someone spurns you. But in the end, it is not always a bad thing. In time, the wounds heal and often you will find better things. In this post, we will look at the different types of rejection, see some hidden benefits of rejection and hopefully ease the fear of rejection/
Rejection is the act of spurning a person’s affections or letting someone know they are not wanted. Unfortunately rejection is a universal experience, and everyone in the entire world goes through this feeling of rejection once in his or her life.
There are different types of rejection in life. You can be rejected in a relationship. You can be rejected from a job you desire. You may be rejected by your family. Or you may be dumped by your school or university on poor performance, etc.
There are many types of rejections that come in many forms. In this post we will discuss all these types of rejection. But first lets take a quick look at the pain of rejection.
Want to get over the feeling of rejection? Check out our article: How To Deal With Rejection
Understanding the Pain of Rejection In LIfe
Rejection is painful. Anyone who has been rejected in life knows this pain. (and 99% of people have been rejected at some point). Some types of rejection are more complex in comparison to the others, but they all are painful.
But the pain is not 100% emotional. This pain has its biological basis, too. According to the biologists, when you are rejected you suffer from physical pain too. Rejection will affect two parts of your brain.
- Secondary Somatosensory cortex
- Dorsal posterior insula
The secondary somatosensory cortex performs higher functions in a human body while the posterior insula plays a role in encoding the primary emotions of a human body. When you face social rejection from anywhere these two parts of your brain are activated.
Types Of Rejection In Life
Here are some types of rejection that you can face in your daily routine.
1- Neglect And Unspoken Rejection:
Sometimes you want to make a connection with somebody in your professional or personal life and you put all your efforts into this task, but nothing happens in this regard. When you got rejected, it hurts as much as being told that you are not qualified for the task.
A renowned Ph.D. professor at Columbia university Geraldine Downey who studies rejection and relates this to human psychology said that “It makes you feel bad about yourself, and it makes you feel like nobody wants to be around you, so it makes you feel angry“.
It is very easy to say anything about rejection, but the real pain of rejection can feel the person who faces this once in his entire life. One thing you should do in this situation to handle this with high courage and stamina.
Studies predict that many people in the world have weak self-esteem so that the basic reason they feel rejection more than those of the people who have great courage to fight these feelings of rejection.
The worst thing than that is the people with low self-esteem take much time to overcome their failures and move forward with their lives. If this happens then the feeling of rejection effects is proliferating. Stay calm and humble in this situation but remind yourself that you can conquer all the failures of life and those feelings as well.
2- Abrupt And Careless: The Flat-Out ‘No’ Rejection:
People want closure. This is the main reason for the popularity of ongoing TV shows. Everybody watches a serialized program just to watch the suspenseful ending.
That is why a flat out “no” with no explanation is extra painful. We are rejected, but we get no closure. We don’t know why and don’t get an ending.
If you got that type of rejection, remember not to get discouraged. Don’t feel guilt for the lack of success. Rejection is not your fault.
A great example of this type of rejection is with job application. You don’t get the job, but often have no clue as to why. If the people hiring you were to be brutally honest as to why you werent hired they might open themselves up to lawsuits or at least negative feelings from many. weak points on which you are rejected. Work on them. Polish your skills and go for another opportunity. Eventually, you will find success one day.
The worst thing about the flat out “no” is that there is little chance for growth. If you do know why you were rejected you can take action in the future. You can understand the weak points on which you are rejected. Work on them. Polish your skills and go for another opportunity. Eventually, you will find success.
3- No Rejection In A Polite Words:
These can hurt too, but at least an attempt is made to alleviate your feelings.
Think of this type as the typical relationship breakup line, “its not you, it me”. While we know this is likely BS
There are numerous kinds of rejection in which one is very nicely worded rejection like somebody says you we regret to invite you our party or we regret to inform you the wedding ceremony. When you wanted to be a part of some group or to be a friend of your crush, but you face a nice rejection from them it hurts.
A study conducted at the University of Michigan medical school by some psychologists revealed the fact that the human brain takes this type of social rejection, in the same manner, it deals with physical injury.
But another study discloses the truth that helps that rejected person frequently will reduce the pain he/she is suffering from.
There are some types of rejection that may have serious consequences according to psychologists.
4- Rejection From Family:
If someone faces rejection from their families it may consist of harsh words, neglect, carelessness or holding back of love and affection.
This kind of rejection some sort of serious outcomes. It may take the person to anxiety or depression.
5- Rejection From Society:
Social rejection can take place in any phase of life. It can happen at an early age of childhood or when you become an adult. It consists of that type of rejection in which you face bullying and alienation in your school or your workplace.
This can relate to rejection from any social group or friend’s circle. People who challenge the status quo or live their life according the beat of their own drum might be faced with this rejection, simply because they are different from the societak norm and may suffer from this rejection.
6- Rejection In A Relationship:
This is the first thing many people think about when they think of rejection. Some people suffer rejection in their relationship or while dating.
They may get turned down for dates. Dumped after a few dates. Or even rejection after a long term relationship.
When someone decides to end a relationship, this can also be an intimation of the feeling of rejection that the other person can feel. All kinds of rejections hurt a person a lot but when the rejection is done by the person you love and trust the most. This type of rejection it may seriously impact your personality and level of confidence. It may even make you feel that no one can love you.
8 Productive Benefits Of Rejections:
Of course, no one wants the “benefits” of rejection. We would rather just be accepted. But there are some small benefits to rejection, and at times these benefits might be huge, maybe even a key to your life. It all depends upon what you can make of it.
Here are the most effective and successful benefits of rejection which may be very helpful for you in dealing with rejection the next time.
1- Rejection Gives Motivation:
Let’s say you have a crappy job. It pays the bills and you need the money so you stay on. Being laid off or even fired can get you out looking for a new job, and potentially help you find one that is a better fit and that you enjoy much more than your previous job. This is an example where rejection helps you find the motivation to improve your life.
Then there is the direct spark to your motivation rejection can bring. Rejection can make mad. Maybe you are coasting in life and got dumped. This can be the spark to change your personality and transform your life. You start exercising. You buckle down at work and get that promotion. You take “me time” to enjoy your life. In this way rejection can push you toward self improvement.
2- It Happens To Us All:
Everyone is the hero of their own story. This is understandable, but it is easy to let this hubris inflate our egos. A little bit of rejection helps us see our place in the larger scheme of life.
Rejection can be humbling; but sometimes we need to be humbled to better understand those around us. Everyone learns better from their past mistakes than they do from previous successful experiences. Rejection helps us here because it reminds us it does not matter how many great qualities we have, we are still just people.
3- Rejection Teaches Us Reevaluation:
Most people cannot handle rejection in a good way and this is a very natural phenomenon because it is a very painful experience. When somebody suffers from rejection again and again it took the person into depression.
If you listen to some sort of thing from your office like you have many qualities but you are not dressed properly in a meeting or your accent is not so good at dealing with other people is the basic example of this type of rejection.
Learning how to remake ourselves to be more goal-oriented and improve our skills and personalities to get some better result. We should reevaluate ourselves according to other people’s perspectives.
In this way, rejection can help to make us a nicer person.
4- Rejection Teaches Us Patience:
Sometimes rejection is painful while on the other hand, some will be catastrophic. For instance, when you are looking for a job and you have been spent a month sending resumes, emails to different companies back-to-back instead of suffering rejection again and again.
However, after one and a half months you got a response from somewhere so in this way rejection teaches you to be patient and keep moving in life.
5- Explore New ways:
Sometimes rejection tells us the ideas and new ways of doing something. When we choose a way to achieve our goals is not good and not the right path to get our desires.
By rejecting somewhere gives much encouragement to do that thing in another way and that way may be the correct one which we did not consider before rejection. So, in that way rejection can be a positive experience if you are willing to try a new way or achieve the desire goals you want.
6- Look Once Again To Our Goals:
Rejection helps us to reconsider our desired goals in different ways. As somebody wants to be a doctor in his life but that person is brilliant in mathematic or commerce subjects, so when he will go in medical and at there face rejection due to the marks or any other reason.
This rejection helps that person to reconsider his goals. At the same time when he pursues the field of mathematics, he becomes successful. So sometimes rejection is a way for the world to reconsider your desire goals.
7- Gives More And More Opportunities:
If you remember that person you knew sometime years ago who was claiming all the time that I would never have found the desired job or any kind of job and he was rejected from everywhere. But judge him now where he is. Rejection always gives us the right opportunities to find something better.
Rejection can be more a powerful force for analyzing that why we choose some specific area as our career. We just need to give some time to recover our feeling of rejection and listen to our inner voice.
8- Rejection Makes A Person Stronger:
Being rejected from somewhere is helpful to get stronger. As the famous quote that “The strongest fish is the one that swims upstream”. For the first time rejection makes you feel hurt but after it gives you the strength to make things in a new way and accomplish your tasks with full efforts.
++Learn About The Causes of Rejection++
A Final Word on Types of Rejection:
There are a lot of types of rejection. It is a universal truth that being rejected from somewhere is painful but there are numerous benefits of this as well. So, one should come up with this rejection in a positive way.