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We accept the love we think we deserve. This one particular line is not merely a quotation but rather it is a matter of fact that signifies the importance of self-image in relationships. We attract the kind of people who are a reflection of the feelings we have for ourselves, whether positive or negative.
When we think that we are not worthy of love, that’s when we set our bar low for relationships.
When our self-esteem is higher, we attract better people in the long run; people who not only treat us better but also make life worth living. But how would you know that you are accepting less love than you actually deserve?
Let us discuss the pattern that reveals you are settling for less and it’s high time to break the cycle!
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5 Points that Prove We Accept The Love We Think We Deserve
1. Your relationship is uninspiring
If your relationship doesn’t bring out the best in you and it doesn’t motivate you to do better in life then it’s plainly un-inspiring. Your significant other is critical of you and rather than motivating you to unleash your full potential they are draining you. All your aspiration seems like they are lost. This shows that it’s not only a deadlock of your relationship but also it has a huge impact on your personal growth.
2. You are not being yourself
Everyone compromises for their relationship. It is a part of sustaining a healthy relationship when you try to adjust yourself to coexist with your partner. But often this adjustment is confused as changing your real and true self. If you feel like you have to change yourself whether it is the way you like to carry yourself, your religious or political beliefs, or your personality then it shows that you are losing yourself into the relationship which is a negative sign.
When you no longer recognize the person standing in front of the mirror, when all your dreams, passions, and laughter have vanished and it seems like you are inhabiting an alien body that’s when you know you have paid the biggest price for your relationship; the price is yourself.
3. It’s an abusive relationship
No matter whether it is emotional or physical when you are being constantly tormented by your significant other and you began to question yourself that’s when you know that the abuse doesn’t exist in your relationship but your relationship is an abuse in itself.
Settling for pain and cries and a partner that puts you down is something no human deserves. Respect is the most important element in a relationship and when respect is gone, everything follows.
4. You are being cheated and manipulated consistently
If you are being cheated over and over again and still giving them a chance then it shows that you are setting your bar too low by giving that much of liberties to someone who doesn’t respect boundaries of your relationship. A manipulative partner who plays mind games and gaslights you or someone who “love bombs” you to get certain reactions out of you should not remain in your life longer.
Holding onto them is an unhealthy behavior and shows that you are accepting something you do not deserve. You are also hindering the possibility of finding someone who will respect you and the relationship by prolonging a relationship that is a BIG fat deal breaker as a whole.
5. You sacrifice a lot
If you are the only one who is making all the sacrifices for a relationship be it your career, interests, or social life, and your partner never seems to be doing the same even when it’s a necessity then it means you are in a one-sided relationship. The kind of relationship takes everything and doesn’t return you anything at all. Although being selfless is a highly appreciable trait in any relationship but it is a very terrible combination when one partner is selfless and the other one is selfish.
As we have discussed some pointers that show you are accepting less love than you deserve, now it is important to understand WHY to help you make better choices for yourself.
5 Unfortunate Reasons Why Do We settle for Less than We deserve!
1. Low self-esteem
When you have a low self-image you would be unable to make better choices in your life. You will always settle for less. Even the word “better” itself seems like out of your league. Self-image impacts the way we relate to others.
If you believe that being treated badly is something that is your fault or you deserve/earn it then this is a clear sign that you have self-esteem issues and you indulge in self-pity. You settle for an unfulfilling relationship because you think that’s the only quality of relationship you can have.
2. Past experiences
Our past experiences have a huge impact on our psyche. If we have a history of abusive or codependent relationships then chances are that we are going to fall into the same pattern over and over again until we acknowledge and move on.
Now that is very tricky because most of the times it is not deliberate or intentional. The only thing you can do is to set healthy standards and let go of anything that doesn’t meet them.
3.Fear of abandonment
It’s better to stay alone than to be with the wrong person; modern dating scenario motivates people the other way round. People involve themselves with all sorts of relationship troubles because they fear abandonment.
Again this has something to do with self-image because they believe that no one will ever stay and they are going to die alone. These are the kind of situations that are needed to be dealt with rather than acting on impulse and diving into relationship head-first. Know your worth and remember that it is better to wait than to waste.
4. Letting go is painful
Do You know why we accept the love we think we deserve? Because Letting go is really painful!.
This one point pertains to not just fear of letting go but also to the unhealthy attachment. It is very understandable that leaving a relationship with” no strings attached “is not possible all the time. When you leave someone you take a lot of emotional baggage that is hard to be dealt with.
But fearing pain is going to hurt you even more. You have to learn that when you should stop.
Sometimes the only solution to your troubles is to let the relationship go. As we accept the love we think we deserve, you have to learn the difference between letting go and giving up.
When you have tried everything possible in your capacity to save your relationship and it still didn’t work out then you aren’t giving up you are letting it go for better.
5.Denial
Denial is the originator of all your troubles. When you are seeing your relationship through rose-colored glasses and even visible red flags are not red flags for you that show you are in a state of denial. You might be optimistic about your relationship but this optimism is not going to take away all your troubles.
Consistent troubles are a killer of optimism. One day when you are no longer an optimist about your relationship and struggling to remain composed that is when reality will hit you that you were in a state of denial all along. Accept the fact that you do not deserve this. That is the first step towards recovery.
4 Honest Ways to Accept the Love You Deserve
It is important to understand the barriers that hold you back from accepting the love you deserve. It is also equally important to move forward by taking effective steps. Here we are presenting you with some effective ways of accepting the love which you ACTUALLY deserve:
1.Practice self-love
Self-love inspires you to make better choices in your life. You overcome the fear of abandonment through self-love. Rejection no longer remains meaningful for you. Self-love is about being aware of yourself; knowing that what you deserve. Your value isn’t dependent upon external factors but rather on internal feelings that keep you positive.
2. Be faithful
Negative experiences can make you believe that everyone is the same and there are no good people left in this world. These are the kind of thoughts that will throw you into an unhealthy cycle of being in unfulfilling relationships.
When you will believe that everyone is a cheater, you will settle for a cheater and give chances to a cheater because that’s how you perceive things work out; by compromising on principles.
3. Never compromise on your principles
This one refers to the previous point that you suffer from what you allow. If you keep giving chances to a cheater, a liar, or an abuser then you are not just compromising on your relationship but also allowing others to demean you. This also shows that you have no sense of self-respect.
Why would anyone else respect you if you do not respect yourself?
4. Do not let past control your present
Remember that every situation is different. Sometimes we develop defense mechanisms that are unhealthy for us.
If your past trauma and negative experiences are urging you to indulge in unhealthy attachment patterns such as codependency that’s when you know your past is still controlling you. Humans are creatures of habit. We indulge ourselves into patterns we have known the longest.
You need to remember that sometimes the way you are used to is not the only way out there.
FAQs on Why We Accept the Love We Think We Deserve:
What does we accept the love we think we deserve to mean?
This quote exhibits that we attract the kind of people who are a reflection of the feelings we have for ourselves, whether positive or negative.
How do I accept the love I deserve?
You can develop a love for yourself first in order to get in love with someone else. You should acknowledge that each situation is new and different and lastly, learn to trust people.
How do you respond to you deserve better?
You can do this by having gratitude in your heart and acknowledge what you have had in your life. Don’t take it for granted because many in this world are compromising on the relationship they don’t even deserve to be in.
How do you love yourself?
First value yourself and have fun by being yourself, forgive yourself for the past mistakes and yourself a break before start a new journey.
Conclusion
Be open and brave with your life. Life is not about settlements. Go after what you deserve. Sometimes we are unaware of what we deserve. If something isn’t inspiring you, or bringing the positivity in your life and taking away your everything then that something needs to be gone. Acknowledgment and acceptance are the keys to self-recovery. We accept the love we think we deserve is all about knowing your worth.
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