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Why Does Love Hurt? Why does something so good and pure, often wind up in anger, hatred, acrimony and sadness. Yes, why does love have to hurt!
When we are in love, we are bound with many emotions that bring us together. We put all our heart and soul into the relationship. Even parts of us we might otherwise hide from others. All of this makes us quote vulnerable to the pain of rejection once the love ends. Similarly, the feeling of breaking up shatters our feelings on which the building of love is.
In this post we will cover the top 8 reasons why love hurts, plus some ideas on what you can do about it without closing down your heart forever.
Why Does Love Hurt? -Reasons Why:
Any of us who had a heartbroken know that it feels terrible like someone has hit us with thousand knives into our body. The Reason? It’s because the same mind of ours that has led us to love someone now causing the pain after losing.
1. Future Is Uncertain:
We cannot assume, but the reality of why love hurts is the uncertainty it carries with it.
It’s a wonderful and safe feeling when we are in love, and we are so happy to have it. We are so accustomed to it that we never want that feeling to go away.
But unfortunately, like other things in life the love has no guarantees. From our experience, we somehow know. We are already afraid that, like other relationships, this will also cause us to pain again.
So what is the reason for physical pain is that we don’t know the future and where this relationship will be. All of this will lead us to anxiety. It will cause stomach pain, the heartache, the heavy head, and any other physical pain associated with it.
2. Uncertain Expectations – Why Does Love Hurt:
It’s an uncertain future that always hurts in a relation.
Being a human, it’s our nature that we start imaging the future instead of enjoying what we have now, even if some of us have very true and safe relations. The thinking of what will happen in the future will disturb us and cause psychic and physical pain.
Some questions run in our minds again and again. Like when will we meet again, can we meet this weekend. When will we be married or to start living together? And when will they introduce us to their friends and family?
All in all, the feeling of what will happen in the future hurts us in some way. Even if we have a secure and committed relationship, we can create a panic in our heads and create pain.
And the way we start to depend too much on our emotions and the feeling of needy on our partner can impact the other one.
So, the idea is not to worry too much about what will come and let yourself flow with it and enjoy it.
3. Crash Of The Chemicals:
Most of us don’t know it, but one such reason for pain in love is our chemistry.
Our bodies produce certain chemicals like oxytocin, endorphins, serotine, dopamine. And all of them activates when we have a feeling of love.
All these chemicals have an excellent feeling, and that is why we became addicted to them. Our bodies can produce these chemicals only at very few moments.
Specifically, when we fall in love or after a good game of exercise. And when we don’t have these feelings, we start to crave for them as a drug addict does for his drugs.
4. The Past Load We Carry With Us – Why Does Love Hurt:
Many of us have felt the feeling of love at a certain point in our life. And the memories of all the pain and heartbreak that we may have felt are still present somewhere in our minds. Consequently, we carry the load from past relations, which causes pain in new ones.
From my previous experience of relations, the people I met have all made some big promises. And after that, none was true to their words that left me badly heartbroken.
I am always feeling let down in my new relations because of the past broken relations. Furthermore, adding salt to the injury, I try the new relation to let me down to see what they would do to me.
Suppose this big load of past relations will continue to be on your mind, then it will continue to hurt and be a source of pain. So don’t try to burden the new relationship because it should reflect only the good feelings.
5. It Has Let You Down:
It’s a very warm feeling to be falling in love. With someone who brings so much excitement that finally we found the special one.
It all seems perfect when we found someone. But as time goes by and the other person reveals their true personality. We start thinking that he/she is not the ideal one.
There are always exceptions. The perfect guy is quite hard to be found. And there will be some imperfections in your perfect relation.
It all started when we thought that the perfect person is not that perfect, which is a big letdown. Sometimes we have to adjust with the not so perfect person. And we can, but still, the reality is sometimes hard to accept and painful.
So, whenever you have this feeling of a letdown, then quickly get rid of this negative feeling by recollecting all the good thoughts and consider your relationship as a happy one.
6. The Ego:
Many mental health experts say; that we deal with the loss of our long-term relations similarly as we grieve the death of very close and loved ones.
A break of a relationship is the most notable occurrence for any person. It’s breaking for their social feelings in the form of rejection. The rejection of your sentiments and perceived potential. That’s something that no one can prepare for until it happens.
The result and studies also reveal that loss of a romantic relationship with the loved one is quite deep. And it affects the person more than the death of their loved ones.
It not only shake our personal worth but also hurts our ego.
7. The Sense Of Attachment Is Lost:
Love can be really painful as our brain starts to accept the relationship as a long term commitment. It causes a chemical breakdown leading to a really painful act because the bond has broken.
8. Broken Heart syndrome:
Often we have seen the incidents where people die from the broken heart. It’s called a broken heart syndrome, and it is sufficient to cause death.
However, in the medical language, this is caused by the deep emotional relationship distress; the truth is that love hurts.