Fighting in a Relationship: 11 Ways to Keep Arguments Fair

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People in relationships have arguments. That is as sure as the sun rising and the sky being blue. Problems in any relationship are unavoidable which makes fighting in a relationship fairly common.

Two people cannot always have a single thought process or emotional response to every topic of life. You will disagree and sometimes even strongly disagree, enough to cause an intense argument with someone you otherwise love and respect,

Fighting in a relationship is not something to worry about, but HOW you fight in a relationship matters immensely. You will want to avoid being personal, avoid being insulting or belittling, or many other things that will take an argument from a simple disagreement into a zone where real resentment will begin to settle into the heart of your significant other.

Fighting in a relationship is very common in all couples, it is natural and happens to the best of us. But how can we make sure it doesn’t go too far?

One of the most important questions that one needs to be mindful of is “How much is too much fighting in a relationship?” Once the couple realizes this, they are in a safe zone. In this post, we will show you ways to avoid fighting in a relationship altogether and how to keep the argument civil when you are unable to avoid the argument

11 Effective Tips to Avoid Fighting in a Relationship

Here are the tips through which couples can have positive communication without being involved in a fight:

Fighting in a relationship is very common and happens to the best of us
Fighting is Common in Every Relationship

1. Think, Pause before saying Anything that may Hurt your Partner:

In an emotional moment, it is difficult to control what comes out of your mouth but the pause before saying something gives us time to think.

“You always gain by giving love” – Reese Witherspoon​

In this way, you may communicate your problems more effectively to your partner and can reach a common ground. So, that you may avoid bad fights in a relationship.

2. Do not use “You” while Talking:

Here is another tip on how to stop fighting in a relationship.

If you would start your phrase with “You put us at risk”, this will give a negative impact at the very start of your conversation and your whole communication would have no benefits at all.

Instead, if you start a phrase by: “I felt the danger that day”, this will automatically change the scenario and put your partner in a defensive mode.

That way you would be able to do a more productive discussion to avoid troubles in the future.

Communication is the key during Fighting in a Relationship
Communicate Effectively during Fights in a Relationship

3. Stay Calm During an Argument:

Never let your emotions overrun you.

If one partner stays calm and collected while you are in a relationship fight, there is a good chance that the couple can enjoy a healthy relationship in the long run.

“Love is a friendship that has caught fire” – Ann Landers

When the emotional run ends, that will be a great time to talk and sort issues constructively.

4. Lay Down Rules for Fights:

If a fight happens between a couple and now, they are on their way to reconciling, they should first all set some ground rules of arguments in the future.

Rules should be specified and communicated properly. In that way, a couple can stop the cycle of fighting in a relationship.

For example, they can include “No interruptions while one is speaking” no hurtful comments on each other, etc.

Lay down rules for Fighting in a Relationship
Lay Down proper rules of Fight is Vital for Relationship

5. No Personal Attacks:

Fighting can sometimes take a very wrong turn and may tilt towards personal attacks e.g. name-calling, irresponsible criticism, etc.

“Losing your self-respect for love can no longer be called Love” – Nitika Nair

This is not healthy at all in a relationship. The couple should try their best not to attack each other on their characters as it can be disastrous for a relationship.

6. Leave the Past Behind, Focus on Future:

Once you have reconciled as a couple after a serious fight. Be smart and let that thing go of your memory.

If you keep on thinking about the past, this may create problems for you in the future.

You may give multiple references through that part of your past and you will face constant fighting in your relationship.

Instead, focus on the future and never involve what happened in the past during future discussions.

Focus on your future to avoid fighting in a relationship
Focus on Future, Don’t Fight on Past

7. Better Up your Listening Skills:

During a fight or argument in a relationship, individuals may tend to speak more and listen less.

This type of conversation will lead you to nowhere as no one would be able to understand their thought process of each other.

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other” – Audrey Hepburn

Rather than speaking, involve your listening abilities more so that you may stop endless arguments and find a solution to your problems.

8. Acknowledgment is Always Good:

Always try to see the views of your partner and acknowledging them is the best way to ensure a healthy relationship.

If your partner complains about something, you should first acknowledge their problem.

If before answering a question you say a phrase like “I know it was hard but I know you are doing a great job”.

This will give your partner a sense of praise and instead of that argument may rise, it would reduce to a mere simple conversation in which you may find a solution to the issue.

Acknowledging efforts of your partner is important after fighting in a relationship
Always Acknowledge Efforts of your Partner

9. Don’t try to Avoid Argument:

Many people think that if they can somehow avoid the argument, they can save the relationship.

This notion is wrong as by doing this a lot of emotions start to build up and they can burst into inevitable long fights you would then wonder “how to stop the cycle of fighting in a relationship?”

“Love is the flower; you’ve got to let it grow” – John Lennon

A simple solution is turning an argument into a constructive discussion session in which you and your partner can discuss the issues you both are facing and how you both can support each other at this time.

10. Never Threaten to Abandon your Partner:

Emotions sometimes take a wrong turn and it happens to the best of us that we give threats to our partners that we would leave them.

Even if you did not mean it at that time, in reality, your words would leave a disastrous impact on your partner which will create insecurity in them and things can take a turn towards a breakup or divorce.

Dont threaten to leave partner while fighting in a relationship
Never Threaten to Leave Partner during Fights

11. Don’t use Physical or Emotional Exploitation:

Verbal fights are generally normal but when in a fight, your partner tends to make you physically or emotionally at risk, it is a big red flag.

If you see that you or your partner are unable to manage your stress and continuously leaving your cool in an argument, you need to get professional help as soon as you can.

Otherwise too much fighting would start. A psychiatrist, counselor, or therapist can certainly help both of you in getting your things together.

Fighting With Your Partner (The Right Way)

Couples in long-term relationships should always remember these tips. Only that is the way through which they can stop fighting in a relationship.

“When we love, we always strive to become better than we are. When we strive to become better than we are, everything around us becomes better too” – Paulo Coelho

No matter how frustrated a couple may feel, life will continue in the same way. By using the above-mentioned tips, couples can take control of their emotions and produce a safe and open environment for their partners as well.

Following these guidelines, couples cannot cause long-lasting damage to their relationship. Even if they are overpowered by their emotions, they can hang on to their love for each other and form a strong relationship.

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