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When times are tough it helps to have a shoulder to cry on. But if you want to console someone else who is going through these gard times is there any “best practices”? Learn how to console someone in tough times.
Life doesn’t treat every person equally. We all must have to flow with the waves of life. It certainly has its ups and downs.
One day is in your favor, next is against you. Sometimes it’s you in the downhill, the other time it may be someone close to you. But, it depends on the circumstances as everybody has their problems, just different levels!
You must be there for your people when they are experiencing intense emotional discomfort.
We have all been in tough times and felt good to have a little bit of support from friends or family. But what practical methods can you use to help support those you care about without seeming condescending.
You can relate when you need someone badly in your hard times to console you. But how can you console someone who is going through tough times? Discover 17 practical methods to make someone feel a bit better in bad times.
What Will I Learn?
- How To Console Someone In Rough Times (17 Practical Ideas):
- 1. How To Console Someone – Acknowledge The Situation:
- 2. Be There For Them:
- 3. How To Console Someone – Offer A Hug:
- 4. Listen Emphatically:
- 5. Avoid Giving Advice:
- 6. Validate Their Feelings:
- 7. Solace That It’s Okay to Cry:
- 8. Don’t Fake Cheerfulness:
- 9. Avoid Blaming Them:
- 10. How To Console Someone; Don’t Rush To Fix:
- 11. Share Your Story Of Grief:
- 12. Keep The Focus On Them:
- 13. How To Console Someone – Say What You Mean:
- 14. Show Your Support And Commitment:
- 15. How To Console Someone – Ask Them What They Need:
- 16. How To Console Someone – Don’t Ignore Them:
- 17. Plan Low-Pressure Hangouts:
How To Console Someone In Rough Times (17 Practical Ideas):
Some situations may leave you speechless, but saying nothing can make it worse for others. You may be afraid of saying the wrong things. Or don’t precisely know what to say to help them. Here is the solution to ‘ How To Console Someone’.
1. How To Console Someone – Acknowledge The Situation:
The person might have anxiety and stressful situation. He/She might be going through bereaved hardship or have received any heartbreaking news.
The first thing to support them is to make them feel that you acknowledged their pain. You could say something as simple as: “I understand.”
2. Be There For Them:
Don’t think ‘What I’d do or say?’ after hearing something terrible from them. Just be there in trying times of people you care about.
Your simple presence can be enough for supporting her/his negative feelings, sorrow, or grief. Make it sure to be with them throughout and after their crisis.
3. How To Console Someone – Offer A Hug:
Giving a hug or holding their hands can be the best you can do to emphasize someone non-verbally. Science has proved that a long, healthy, and silent hug can bring comfort to any strained.
4. Listen Emphatically:
If someone needs to be heard, let them speak. It is the most superficial trait to console someone close.
Listen with compassion and understanding. Ensure that you’re fully attentive to listen without judgment.
Let your loved one open and express bottle up feelings. Sharing sadness will bring peace to their burdened heart.
5. Avoid Giving Advice:
There is no miracle advice for every problem. Instead of instantly giving advice, focus on figuring out the problematic point of the person.
They might face difficulty to express what is inside them. In such a case, try to get the meaning out of their incomplete sentences.
And respond in simple terms. It will make them less anxious.
6. Validate Their Feelings:
It is essential to validate other’s feelings when they are troubled. Tell them that you care about their emotions.
The way they’re feeling is right. Make them realize that you heard and understood everything they said. This step doesn’t require much effort to make her/him feel better.
7. Solace That It’s Okay to Cry:
When your special ones are sad, it can also make the situation hard around you as well. But here, the test of your patience comes. Being a responsible mate, you should tell them there’s nothing wrong with crying.
They may have to hold back tears in front of the public. But this should not be the case with you. Assure her/him that it’s entirely okay to grieve. Or break down without the fear of criticism. Offer your shoulder.
Crying is a natural stress reliever and helpful in healing yourself. It is one of the best ways to console someone.
8. Don’t Fake Cheerfulness:
It is not easy to watch people you love in pain. You want to bring them comfort in a flash. But some people like to be held in a consoling way.
Hence, pretending any cheeriness in a situation of intense sorrow can be annoying. And it also can be worse to not considering their current emotions. It might give them a sudden halt of talking.
Or they may get themselves into emotional isolation. Instead, empathizing with them is a better way to help rather than trying to cheer them up.
9. Avoid Blaming Them:
Try to understand the sensitivity of the situation. Without knowing the whole story, please do not blame the person. It can lead a person to feel hurt. Allow them not to feel hesitant while sharing their experience.
Analyze the case without judging and criticizing it. They might be made a mistake with the cost of unexpected results. Nobody can control everything. Try to keep their peace in the right place.
Please help them to overcome their remorseful feeling out of their head. And they’ll love you for your patience.
10. How To Console Someone; Don’t Rush To Fix:
It’s great to be with your loved once in hard times. But giving her/him space and time is equally important. Don’t try to stick with them all the time. Forcing them to see positive too quickly can upset them.
The solution might seem easy to you, but not to her/him. They’ll think that you also are not understanding them. Don’t let that happen.
Instead, please give them a little space. They will need a specific amount of time to take a deep breath, a step back to move forward. After get venting, they’ll surely want to see you. Stay calm until then.
No matter how close you’re to someone, many still have a fear of being a burden to others. Or even if they want to talk, but they find it so hard and painful.
Try to console the person by sharing your story of grief. This is the way to smooth out the transition from discomfort to opening up.
This pattern is an absolute necessity for some. Sharing similar stories will make them realize that they’re not alone. Display yourself as living proof that life can be normalized again.
12. Keep The Focus On Them:
While consoling, you need to stay focused on a loved one. Focused listening can make a down friend feel better.
So, avoid distracting yourself with some random things. Like as, do not check your cell phone or look at the clock when you’re trying to be supportive. It will drag back their confidence.
They’d intended to keep everything to themselves. And won’t let you console them. That actually can be harmful to them. Hence, listen with an open heart. And make sure your consistent presence.
13. How To Console Someone – Say What You Mean:
Consoling someone should not stay till someone’s a hard time. The length of the healing process varies from person to person. Your friend may need your support throughout.
In getting your loved one to open up, you demonstrate your genuine support and interest. Speak your heart and build more trust with a close person.
Don’t make false promises only to console someone. Keep checking on her/him from time to time. It would be helpful if you stayed genuine in your communication, included active listening and empathy.
14. Show Your Support And Commitment:
Watching a close person experiencing misery is a heart-wrenching task. You may take all pain to find how you can console that someone. The time is to show your love and support.
Let the person believe that you exactly understand what they’re going through. Try to act as normal as you can to show your concern. Your first job is to listen to them to draw sadness out of him/her. Secondly, keep saying sympathetic things with patience.
Keep checking on them. You might know about the person’s needs but keep asking. Your continued support will be a source of comfort.
15. How To Console Someone – Ask Them What They Need:
Taking care of someone’s needs is good, but not of everything. The person may take it wrong as you pity them. Without hurting their self-esteem, try to help out by sharing the load at their house.
Remain polite to make him/her feel supported. Don’t ask forcefully as sometimes all a person needs is to be heard and comforted. But assure them that you are there if they need something in future
16. How To Console Someone – Don’t Ignore Them:
The situation of a miserable person can be intense, and you might be intimidated by it. You may find they are repeating the same story again and again. And he/she is not concentrating on what you are saying.
You may start losing your patience. In such time think that a similar loss can happen to you. Ignoring someone in their hard times can lead them toward self-isolation.
Try to stay calm and don’t argue with them. Separate a little time for yourself to secure your mental health. To console your loved one, you need to take care of your well-being too.
In order to console a person, you need to stay patient and compassionate.
17. Plan Low-Pressure Hangouts:
An intense situation keeps a person at home. In the process of consoling, the weight of grief also falls onto you.
To save your and her/his wellbeing, make a plan to go outside. Schedule time to go to a movie. Take your friend to her/his favorite restaurant and have a delicious lunch.
Or take a lead to plan a trip to a destination your loved one wants to visit. This way is encouraging for her/his self-expression. And it will take off a lot of pressure.
In sum, if you want to contribute to lessening the emotional burden of your loved one. And you don’t find ways how to console someone. You might find yourself lacking words too.
But it’s not that difficult as much as you think it is. The first thing you need to learn is to be fearless. Don’t fear saying something wrong. It can stop you from reaching out to help them.
There are also plenty of ways to console someone without saying a thing. A simple holding someone’s hand can help them to reduce stress.
Follow the above-mentioned steps to console your loved one. And the person will typically feel better for having shared the burden on their heart.