How Not To Be Jealous – 11 Ways to Deal with Jealousy

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Jealousy is a strong emotion. It makes your blood boil. It gets you irritated, angry, even willing to hurt the person you are jealous from.

How to deal with Jealousy? It is not as big a problem as you might think. As a clinical psychologist, Christina Hibbert says, jealousy becomes problematic only “when we act out in jealousy, or we wallow in it.”

In this guide, we will learn effective & mature ways of dealing with jealousy so that you can better manage this toxic emotion, both in a romantic relationship or otherwise.

A girl looking angry and suffering from jealousy - how to deal with jealousy

11 Ways on How To Deal With Jealousy

Jealousy is often associated with romantic relationships only. But you’ll be surprised to know that jealousy is present in almost all types of relationships, therefore, we have included all the ways of dealing with jealousy so that you can better manage your relationships.

1. Know The Source Of Jealousy:

If you are suffering from jealousy, first thing, you ask yourself where this feeling comes into your mind. What is the root cause of this jealousy?

An online counsellor Sarah Swenson explains that if you are suffering from this feeling, “ask yourself what lies at the root of it. Then take a step to change what you don’t like to get what you want.”

When did you start investigating your feelings of jealousy? These feelings give you the right path from where it comes?

Sometimes, your sister is in a relationship. You start to get jealous of her because, unluckily, you have not been in any relationship with a guy since your adulthood.

Sometimes, you feel jealousy from your fellow worker just because he got a promotion in the office. You are hopeless to get a promotion in your office because you consider yourself not good enough in your duties.

It is a natural thing that you feel jealousy when your partner spends time with your new friend and starts ignoring you just because your previous partner has done the same thing earlier.

When you are suffering from these kinds of thing, you must figure out this situation as soon as possible.

It would be best if you made a conversation with your boss for a promotion or talk to your partner about the situation and your feelings for her so that you can get rid of jealousy.

2. Have A Conversation With Your Best Friend:

The feeling of jealousy sometimes gives you a slightly twisted sense of reality. Sometimes, you get surprised by those unexplainable flirting you swear you saw happened.

To overcome this situation, you should talk to your best friend or the person you trust the most in your life.

So, talk such a person helps you to make this situation easier and fearless. By this, you can track it to a positive dimension.

3. Can Jealousy Be Positive?

Jealousy can be torturous, intense emotion, and you might feel down and exhausted when dealing with it.

But everything has some pros and cons. Suppose you start exploring the positive ways instead of thinking negatively. In that case, it can teach you any lessons and become a good source of information.

According to Swenson’s view about jealousy, there is a vast difference between what you have and what you want from life.

She also elaborates that unchecked jealousy can turn into self-blame, so it creates a cycle that brings you in a deprived off feeling.

But you can manage all these things by finding the pros of this situation. It gives a lot of information that is very useful for you to create such circumstances to identify your needs.

4. Judge Other’s Personality Exactly:

Jealousy sometimes develops for a person when we do not know the exact information about him. But you are suffering from envy just because you idealize that person in your mind.

On the other hand, you can say that you might be comparing yourself to an uncompetitive or incomplete person based on incomplete information.

Mostly, people display themselves perfectly and try to hide all their negative aspects, so it’s not an easy task for anyone to tell the truth to everybody about what is happening in their life.

There is a significant influence of social media in everybody’s life, and this is the major problem, which magnifies this concept.

When you are looking at a person just on social media platforms, you do not precisely know what is happening in his life. What an accurate picture of his life.

Just as like the famous quote that “Every glitter is not gold.”

Sometimes, you saw your old college friend on Facebook in some pictures she posted with his husband in some hilly areas, looking so happy.

But precisely, they quarrel with each other all the way out during their journey and pretend people upload some beautiful picture on social media to show off their relationship.

A candle is burning which is an indication of an inspiration a person can get from jealousy

5. Feel Thankful For What You Have:

Just a little bit of good behavior can give you a lot of things in life you want. If you show some feelings of thanks, it will help you decrease the feeling of stress and jealousy.

It is often, you are suffering from unpredictable conditions, or you are facing some issue in life. Still, it does not mean due to all this situation you start blaming others, and you get jealous of others.

Look at your flaws in life and the positive gesture of other idealized people in your mind.

Sometimes, you might have all the things you want in your life, but maybe you have some of the things you want. Perhaps those things or relationships you have in your life are the dreams of some others.

So, try to show some gratitude for your behavior. For instance, when you enjoy your friends in his new car, but you get jealous of your partner’s friends and want them, she ignores their friends.

At that time, you must remind yourself that your friend’s bike gets you any place where you want. So, consider the fruitful things of having a partner who appreciates the value of true friendship.

It would be best if you appreciated your positive aspect of life, which doesn’t relate to jealousy. It can help you understand that maybe your life is not going so good. Still, you have something special others don’t have.

6. Give You Some Break:

Sometimes, things start getting worse, and you can not cope with all the situations you are facing at the same time. So, it affects your brain very severely. Here are some strategies that how to deal with jealousy or to distract jealousy thoughts.

Sometimes writing helps you distract from this kind of thought. So, it would help if you started writing your feeling, go on a walk to refresh your mind, and give yourself space to get rid of this situation.

7. Stay Calm In Any Situation:

It does not matter how you feel jealousy. You can find many ways to cope up with the situation. 

It does not matter how strong our emotions & feelings are, they are always come as a wave. They have a peak and they have a valley, they’ll & they’ll go. Therefore, we can let these feelings pass without acting on them.

Deal with jealousy by staying calm and acknowledging it, without taking any action.

If you want to deal with jealousy, you must learn some tools for this. Stay calm in this situation. Before reacting, try to explore the clear picture of another person.

For instance, talk to the trustworthy person you have in your life. This will help you to calm down.

8. Have Self-Confidence:

The core reason why most people get jealous of anyone because they have low self-confidence and a lot of fears about their relationships.

They have a low level of confidence, and they think that they cannot do anything. When their loved one realizes this, they will leave that person immediately.

When you are in a relationship with someone, you need to know why your partner just chose you. There is something special, or you have some unique qualities that others do not have.

You should appreciate your good qualities. Ask about those qualities to your partner for confirmation or appreciation.

When you feel jealous next time, have some confidence in yourself, remind yourself that your partner is with you just because of your positive qualities.

9. Forget Your Memories:

Most people get jealous because of their past relationships. Your partner or some friend might have cheated on you in the past.

But after that all, you should move your previous relationship and enter in a new one.

Try to heal your wounds as soon as possible, so it will be beneficial to get rid of jealousy from your ex-partner or friend.

Whenever you get jealous to see them with someone else remind me that you have not concerned with them.

10. Take Jealousy As A Lesson:

According to Hibbert, the author f=of the famous book “This is how we grow”, said that one could use his feeling of jealousy as an inspiration to achieve more and more things in life.

Take an example of, when you get jealous of your friend you want to do something better than him. So, this situation forces you to work hard with complete dedication to earn the best reward.

11. Consult To A Therapist:

If you are suffering from jealousy in your mind, go to your therapist, who can help you out in this situation.

It is not an easy task to talk about your jealousy because it can take you to some feeling of embracement, or you might feel uncomfortable, but a well-experienced therapist can help you in this regard.

They consider these things normal because anyone in the world can feel jealousy from others as it is a natural thing. So, it will be beneficial for your mental health also.

A girl sitting alone the corner of her room because of jealousy and want to know how to deal with jealousy.


Suffering from jealousy is a natural thing anyone can face in his life, but the main thing dealing with it properly. Everything has its solution, even jealousy as well.

Try to get rid of jealousy as soon as possible and focus on your personality and your good qualities that other people do not have. Go to a therapist or talk to your best friend and give peace to your mind.

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