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Life is truly a beautiful blessing but sometimes this blessing turns into a curse when you meet a narcissist in your life. You may wonder at first, and then it seems like a horrible dream to you to live with a narcissistic person even without knowing how to deal with a narcissist.
Narcissism is a personality disorder that shows signs of self-obsession and less empathy for others. The person who is suffering from this disability has a self-centered attitude, insecurities, sensitivity to criticism, and totally careless about other’s emotions.
In psychological terms, narcissism is a legal mental health disorder condition that requires professional help. Narcissist people are in love with an idealized and magnificent image of themselves and inflated their self-image precisely. However, it allows them to ignore their intense feeling of insecurity.
How to Identify a Narcissist?
Narcissistic people are often self-entitled. They will not listen to others while also trying to impose their thoughts on others without considering their opinions. They demand to give more importance to their thoughts and have little care for other people’s opinions.
- Have high levels of self-esteem, self-importance, and self-confidence.
- They disregard the opinions of others.
- They are haughty
- Play with people’s emotions.
- They take advantage of others.
- They are sure about their significance
- They love to be in the spotlight
- Attention seekers
- Less sympathetic to others
- They are obsessed with their own success and power.
- Self-centered and extrovert
- They often play the blame game with you
All these qualities show a narcissistic person who needs consultation and treatment to overcome these mental health issues. Here we need to find more about narcissistic people by examining our relationships with them and learn how to deal with a narcissist.
8 Ways to Learn How to Deal With A Narcissist
Handling a narcissistic person is demanding and hard to deal with. Especially, when you are in a relationship with a such person, you need to take it as a challenge. You must buckle up your belts and get ready for a bumpy ride.
These few steps are required to learn to deal with a narcissist.
Self-education is always an essential gateway to knowing more about problems, causes, effects, and consequences. Narcissism is an exceptional trait to handle because of the high mental approach of narcissistic persons which they have in their mind.
They never consider their vulnerabilities and don’t like to talk about them publicly. However, by getting information about this disorder you will be able to discover more about their weaknesses and strengths. Having a realistic perspective, you may find the path to get a good understanding of this topic.
2. Study and Behavior Research:
We must spend quality time reading and gathering information about the problem we are going to deal with. Psychological research can help a lot to find the solution.
Don’t Let Yourself Drown into their charm:
You may find narcissistic people charming and popular in their social circle. They have the skills to attract people with their high flies, big dreams, alluring personality traits, grand ideas, and promises which can inspire you deeply. You can feel drown to them and get influenced by their character.
Additionally, they start resisting you whenever you are trying to fix the situation and let them control your emotions.
Accept them for what they are:
It’s tricky to handle such people in your life because they become intolerant sometimes and you can’t handle them easily. They are less emotional and concerned about your feelings. They can be rude and drastically impatient with you in worse situations.
The basic step to deal with narcissists is simply accepting them for what they are. You can’t change them according to you.
3. Set Boundaries:
Narcissistic people can be dangerous when they are in anger. You must set boundaries and tell them their limitations in a straight manner. Be clear to them and stop letting them play with your emotions brutally because in the worst situation it’s not your job to control them.
4. Raise Your Voice For Yourself:
Narcissists will try to make you subservient to their will. While “go along to get along” may be right at times, if you feel strongly about an issue, it is important to stand up for yourself and your views.
Find balance in your relationship with a narcissist. Understand your self-worth and stand firm when they try to bully you into seeing things their way. You can raise your voice when they are crossing their limits. Let them know the real value of what you say in clear words. Never tolerate their aggression and quiet down to appease them.
5. Hold Your Words:
Keep your sense of humor strong especially when you are in harsh conversations with a narcissistic person. Despite being aggressive you must react with pleasant gestures to that egocentric person.
Try to smile and crack a joke at that moment, it will be lightened the situation and you can take some time for further discussion.
6. Stay Calm to Deal With Narcissist:
Criticism is never acceptable for them or especially if they are in an intimate relationship with somebody, they might be highly critical of them too. Try not to be immediately reactive in any situation
First, calm down yourself, and then convey your constructive and clear message to them. Narcissists don’t take criticism in a good way so be careful to pass your comments positively. otherwise, they will handle you drastically in misbehaving conditions which can lead the conversation towards an abusive and rational ending.
7. Make A Support System:
Living with a difficult person can mislead you having severe kinds of stress, insecurity, self-doubt, and confusing situation. Try to construct a strong support system to confine yourself. Surround yourself with those people who play a vital role in your life and love you unconditionally.
This support system may increase your self-confidence and let you feel much better after a devastating situation of being insulted mentally.
For instance, many of us have examples of such people around us specifically in our professional life where we have competitors. At work, people always seek admiration even if it’s difficult for others. They always want to give whole credit to themselves for any teamwork.
More often, they seem very friendly to others just to get a high designation and make good connections with high-level people.
While at home they want to be dominating in every decision of their personal and family life because they consider themselves better than anyone in decision making.
8. Ask for Help:
As we know narcissistic people have an inflated sense of self-importance, they are used to doing it in their life with everyone. Most probably narcissistic people who are attached to someone closely, are more open and intensive in these traits. Whether it’s a spouse, children, parents, friends, relatives, or anyone else with whom they are dealing in routine.
If you think that things are not solvable and you have done with all your struggles and techniques, then you must approach a professional. Therapy may not permanently cure narcissism, but it can help you in certain things which a consular will discuss in detail.
What Not To Do When Dealing With a Narcissist
It will take time to reduce the effects of narcissism, but by avoiding a few certain things, you can get the solution. These factors can trigger the problem and let you in the worst circumstances.
1. Never Argue with A Narcissist:
A child or a parent narcissist may show an abusive and ignorant attitude in various conditions. Sometimes they can order like a powerful dictator of the house while kids may show bad behavior towards their elders. Try to ignore a rational argument with them because they will listen to your point of view and understand it.
2. Don’t Try to Teach/Guide them:
Narcissistic people always want to control everything and they often have fear of losing it. You can never direct them and let them feel underestimated. They always have thought that no one has the capability to guide them.
They can be rebellious during discussions and demoralize your stamina to deal with narcissism.
3. Don’t Expect They Will Understand You:
It is obvious that, if you are sharing some opinions with a self-obsessed person, they might be not able to take your opinion personally into consideration. They will treat you in a less empathetic way which left you heartfelt. Somehow you can be lost your self-confidence to keep yourself determined to deal with a narcissist.
Insisting they understand your point of view can create an outburst and shutdown response. In fact, in that way, you can’t deal with them. They can occupy your nervous system easily, and take control of your emotions.
4. Don’t Expect Seriously Meaningful Discussions:
If they are not in the mood to let you in their space, they will never allow you to take a step forward.
Make sure to respect yourself and maintain your self-esteem by avoiding having serious conversations.
5. Don’t Remind Them of Past Issues:
As you know some people have psychological effects from their past experiences. They don’t like to converse about their life because it triggers their pain and drives them crazy.
Try to not make them see, back into past times especially associated with hpainful events. You can only cure them by talking about present conditions without expressing requests or upsetting issues.
6. Move On:
People with narcissistic personality disorder usually have less chance to change. They even don’t bother that you are trying so hard to maintain your relationship with them. At that time there is no way left except to move on. You must be protective of yourself to maintain good mental health.
Psychotherapy research shows that “people can change even long-standing behaviors. Strengthening someone’s self-esteem and tackling their narcissism on your own can be difficult sometimes, but it is something you can deal with outside help.
Still, if you are stuck with a narcissist in your life and have nothing left to handle your mental disorder. You must realize and accept the reality more than they do. You can’t help them as a professional psychologist or therapist can. Take them to the therapist and let them be treated professionally. Protect yourself and hold your emotions to think practically because this is the key to making them less harmful to you as well. Thus, expert mental assistance can help you to learn handling skills and you can set boundaries, and practice self-care strategies to deal with a narcissist more effectively.